Alan Grayson Wants $20.14 for Being Called “Chief Maggot of All Liberal Lowlifes”


Millionaire lawyer Alan Grayson, fresh off accusations of abuse by his ex-wife, is  launching his election campaign by ranting about Joe the Plumber and mean conservative bloggers because he thinks it’s still 2008.

Grayson’s site, which looks more and more like Infowars every day, deploys a fundraising email in which he asks supporters to donate money because Joe the Plumber called him a “piece of nose slime” after the lefty congressman was accused of abuse by his ex-wife.

“If disgusting political attacks like calling a Member of Congress a “piece of nose slime” make you feel ill, then click here, and give us the support we need to fight back,” Grayson writes.

How much do you need to give to assuage the sick feeling experienced by imagining Grayson dripping out of someone’s nose? $20.14 a month. Why that much? I have no idea.

After ranting for five paragraphs about Joe the Plumber, Grayson asks again, “Aren’t you sick of right-wing fakers like “Joe” the “Plumber”? Click here to show your support for the Member of Congress whose bumper sticker reads: “Grayson. Truth.”

I don’t think even die hard lefties are all that obsessed with Joe these days.

After eight more paragraphs of ranting about Joe (yes this fundraising email is already a minor novel) he wraps it up with another request for money.

This follows a previous fundraising letter in which Grayson tries to fundraise off being called a circus clown.

For what it’s worth, I like circus clowns. I love the way that dozens of them pop out of those tiny little cars. My kids enjoy the suitcase gags, the juggling, and the magic tricks. But regardless of my affection for circus clowns, I am not one of them. Rather, I am a progressive, and the “most effective Member of Congress,” according to Slate magazine.

If vicious personal attacks like calling a Member of Congress a “circus clown” make you feel ill, then click here, and give us the support we need to fight back.

For the record, Alan Grayson would like to state that Slate Magazine can vouch that he is not a circus clown.

Lest you think that this is an isolated instance, an anomaly of some kind, here are some other harsh terms that right-wingers have flung at me during the merry month of March alone:

“Chief Maggot of All Liberal Lowlifes” (
“loudmouthed maverick liberal” (
“pretty big POS” (
“bad caveman” (
“loathsome pest” ( again)
“Lunatic” (“Jammie Wearing Fools”)
“Shrek look-a-like” (

This is like watching a wino dance around for pennies.

I’m willing to stand up in the face of this brutal character assassination, and continue to fight for the common good. But I can’t defeat them all by myself. I need your help, and I need it now. Every dollar counts

Progressives, Alan Grayson can’t stand up in the face of being called a “Shrek look-a-like” without your money. Send him $20.14. Or throw him a nickel. Leave a sack of old government cheese under his park bench while he sleeps.

Grayson is willing to defy anything that mean people call him on the internet. He will also show up for your dunk tank as long as you send him money.

Won’t you help out today?

  • Larry Larkin

    Typical leftard, can dish it out but any return fire has them wetting their pants, running for cover, and resorting to lawfare. Just imagine if conservatives resorted to the Courts at the rate wounded leftards do, they back log would be decades long. :D

  • DogmaelJones1

    Click here if you want Alan Grayson imitate a homeless guy who will wash your windshield with a squeegee for a buck, whether or not you want it washed.

    • nomoretraitors

      I don’t think he could handle even that simple task

      • Doobee

        OMG. You SO underestimate Alan Grayson. Believe me, Grayson’s the Osama bin Laden of political terrorists.

  • nomoretraitors

    “Piece of nose slime”
    I’ll use it the next time I encounter Americansagainstteabillies

  • nomoretraitors

    “But regardless of my affection for circus clowns, I am not one of them”
    No, you’re not competent enough, you piece of nose slime.

    • Doobee

      Actually, I agree with Alan Grayson. He’s not a circus clown. He’s a harlequin. He’s also not a piece of nose slime; he’s a river of nose slime.

  • nomoretraitors

    “and the “most effective Member of Congress,” according to Slate magazine”
    yeah, that clinches it for me

    • Doobee

      Grayson’s effective alright: effective at promoting hate and division.

  • nomoretraitors

    “If vicious personal attacks like calling a Member of Congress a “circus clown” make you feel ill”
    At least no one called him a terrorist or hostage taker

    • Doobee

      I would, but not to his face. Alan Grayson doesn’t get mad. He gets even.

  • glpage

    It’s not like ol’ Alan hasn’t called conservatives equally rank names and slurs. I guess the notion of being able to take what you give isn’t something Grayson believes. I guess he’s special. As in special needs…

    • truebearing

      He studied at the prestigious Ed Schultz School of Infantile Histrionics, don’t you know.

      • Doobee

        Actually, I think it’s more likely that Ed Schulz learned everything he knows about infantile histrionics from Grayson. Grayson’s the master of lawfare and political hate.

  • CowboyUp

    Alright, who stocked the dunk tank with Piranhas? That’s just mean, trying to give them indigestion like that.

  • kuhnkat

    Who has the nerve to insult Circus Clowns like that may I ask?!?!?!

  • BillClinton

    Alan Grayson is a future President of the United States. I haven’t thought about him in while. He seems to have been the only congressman who actually cares about the people and is willing to stand up to power. Thanks for reminding me about him. I live in another Florida congressional district. Where do I go to send money?

    • Daniel Greenfield

      The nearest dumpster

    • truebearing

      Send it to me. I’m his only friend. Make it cash please. Your credibility isn’t very high.

    • Doobee

      You can’t find the millionaire’s website? In that case, you should probably just send to the Soros Group. They’ll be sure to bundle it up with the hundreds of thousands of dollars they’re sending to the Grayson reelection campaign.

    • Andy_Lewis

      FNA right!

  • truebearing

    Oh boy! Calling big-mouthed, deranged, nose-slime, circus clown liberals names. What great sport. Grayson looks like a melon-headed version of Hitler. He acts like a spoiled three year old.

  • Libslayer

    The truth hurts Alan Grayson.
    You are a very very nasty piece of garbage.

  • mercury

    If the shoe fits…

  • wileyvet

    It’s called free speech Douche Bag.

  • oneteedoffpatriot

    “This is like watching a wino dance around for pennies”. I didn’t look to see who wrote this piece but when I read that, I knew it had to be Daniel Greenfield. The way he perfectly describes these Leftists is first rate and spot on.

  • Berceuse

    Funny, because I thought the worst insult possible would be calling someone a “member of Congress.”

  • Nina Sage

    I hope his old lady puts a hole in his head the next time he lays a hand on her. This guy was the playground bully you hear about.

    • Gary

      According to Graysons daughter, (who was there), he didn’t lay a hand on her, she laid a hand on him.
      Maybe Karma will put you into a similar situation and put you through the same thing.

      • Gary

        Either that, or you are in the republican party, and you prefer lies over truth. Evil is like that you know.

        • Doobee

          So because someone “is in” the Republican Party, he would “prefer lies over truth.” In other words, if someone’s a Republican he or she would “prefer lies to truth.” And your proof of this assertion is what exactly?

          • Gary

            yes! Because they are the lowest form of humanity, God ever afflicted mankind with.
            (In my own humble opinion).

      • Doobee

        Yeah, because Grayson’s such a puny, little man. I’m sure that his wife broke several bones, gave him a blackeye, and a nosebleed. Grayson didn’t need his daughter, his staffer took along a videocam and recorded it. Grayson then gave the tape to his lawyer, another sleazy pimp among several in the area. The problem is the prior incidents the staffer DIDN’T videotape. Grayson knew beforehand what his wife would do.

  • Adam

    $20.14 = 2014 elections, perhaps? Similar to the $20.16 Hillary creepy face cup I assume. Seems to be a popular meme, and an easy way to get some suckers to cough up more dough.

  • Gary

    Well heck. Ain’t that the same tactic used by those who court the Koch boys? Difference is, Grayson asks millions of people for twenty bucks. Those girls ask the Kochs for twenty million bucks.

    • Gary

      Asking a million people for twenty bucks and doing what benefits them….vs asking the Koch boys for twenty million and doing what benefits them….Geee I dun know. I can see though how you would be confused, involving math and all.

      • Doobee

        Gary, George Soros is far wealthier than the Koch brothers, and he’s by no means the only billionaire who will contribute to Grayson’s campaign. Moreover, Grayson’s a millionaire himself–several times over. In fact, Alan Grayson is one of the wealthiest members of Congress. He’s asking for contributions from individuals who work for a living and can’t afford to give him $20.14. Millionaire Grayson has a lot of nerve asking the people who can least afford it to give him money, especially since he’s getting hundreds of thousands of dollars from the Soros Group and other leftwing billionaires–the very ones who are destroying the middle class by imposing crony capitalism on America. Grayson will soon enough be a billionaire, and within a few years there will be only a handful of mega-giant business corporations owned by Soros, and a handful of other billionaires. The crony capitalists will own everything. Grayson plans to be one of them.

        • Gary

          If it is people like Soros that bothers you, why would you be a tea partier, or a Republican?

    • Drakken

      Pssst dumbazz libtard, your hero Soros is funding and destroying this country and your cheering for it. Keep up the great work, because when things get worse, you will be the first to cry about it.

      • Doobee

        Apparently, Gary doesn’t know that Alan Grayson’s a millionaire and one of the wealthiest members of Congress. No doubt Gary, the dum bass, has already sent the Grayson reelection campaign $20.14, proving once again the old adage, “A fool and his money are soon parted.”

        • Gary

          Oh I know he is. How odd it is evil for us Liberals to be wealthy, and not the conservatives.

    • Doobee

      Alan Grayson is a millionaire who asks people who don’t have much money to contribute $20.14 to his campaign, as if Grayson doesn’t get any money from the Soros Group or the Democrat Party. That takes chutzpah Gary.

      By the way, the Koch brothers are both grown men. And what girls are you talking about?

      • Gary

        The Tea Party women. The voters.

  • Hard Little Machine

    Politics is the final resting place of people with organic brain damage.

  • jeepwonder

    All he needs to do is prove he’s not nose slime.
    And for Joe the ‘fake conservative’ plumber, all he needs to do is show Grayson is. Actually, that shouldn’t be so hard. Not with Grayson’s track record.

    • Doobee

      First of all, who are you to say that Joe the Plumber is a “fake conservative”? I mean, I don’t know whether Joe’s a genuine conservative or not , and I don’t really care. He has Grayson’s number, so why should I? Why should you?

      All Grayson needs to do is prove he’s not a piece of nose slime? You think that’s easy for Grayson to do, but you think it would be easy for Joe the Plumber to show [who] Grayson is? Hmm, that seems a bit of a contradiction. I’m confused.

      • jeepwonder

        I was using ‘sarcasm’ when I called him a fake.
        Joe the Plumber asked the question we all wanted to know and the state controlled media couldn’t ask.

        And Grayson can’t prove he’s not nose slime, In my opinion. Because he is.

        • Doobee

          Got it. Good recovery. ^5s

  • Doobee

    Sickening as it is, it’s a virtual certainty that Grayson will be reelected. I doubt he will even face any opposition because no one wants to be slimed by him for merely opposing him in a reelection campaign. Grayson’s a genius–an evil genius–but he’s so filthy evil, no one will dare run against him. Grayson doesn’t get mad, he gets even, and he WILL get even with anyone he thinks has crossed him. If you want to see the face of a truly dangerous, malignant narcissist, you could just stop with President Zero, but Grayson’s mug makes Zero look angelic.

  • lillymckim

    Alan Grayson is mentally unstable, he is not well. He lost a lot of money and is doing anything and everything to get it back. Why he doesn’t ask his new BFF Jonathan Soros (Georges son) I don’t know. The Soros’ will do anything to get their faces in the news.
    How he ever got reelected I will never know it had to be fraud.

    • Doobee

      After many failed attempts to win the Democratic Party’s primary in his congressional district, in 2008, Alan Grayson was first elected in that district, which was later eliminated through the Florida legislature’s redistricting law which took effect in 2012, I believe. In 2010, Grayson was defeated for reelection in that same district by Rep. Dan Webster. In 2012 Grayson ran in another district which is located just to the south of and next to his old district. That district is heavily Hispanic/minority and in general, leans Democrat. In 2012, Grayson ran a viciously personal campaign in which he grossly distorted his opponent’s positions on the issues. Grayson also had a virtual war chest of cash, and his opponent had very little. In fact, I think his opponent never even ran any ads on TV or radio.

      Grayson is the king of bombast and post-modernist one liners. IMO, Grayson won because–like other Democrats since 2008–he engages in a lot of subtle race-baiting, and–despite the fact he’s himself a millionaire, he exploits wealth envy in a manner not unlike Obama on the national stage.

  • Andy_Lewis

    Grayxon rawx. Tough bananas if you don’t like it.

  • Michael B

    Way to go, Alan… give these people ulcers!

  • FedUpLibBS

    Grayson is NOT GOOD ENOUGH to be called CHIEF MAGGOT!!!