Dumbest Man in Israel Denounces Government Force Feeding Him Jewish Settler Goat Yogurt

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Picture your quintessential leftist. Make him as stupid and goofy as you can. Then double it. And you’ll get Yossi Sarid, a leftist politician.

Despite or because of his stupidity, Yossi Sarid ended up the minister of a bunch of things in some Israeli left-wing governments. Nationally he’s a punch line because of… well things like this.

MK Yossi Sarid once admitted in a radio interview that his mother used to bathe him in the tub until he was 21 years old.

Now Sarid is outraged because he’s being force fed yogurt by Jewish settler goats… at least that’s what I can make out of his article which reads like it was the product of Google Auto Translate even though it’s written in English in Haaretz.

We came home from shopping at the grocery store, in our bags eight goats’ milk yoghurts and a container of sheep’s milk yoghurt produced by the Halav Haaretz dairy from Sussia. When you don’t pay careful attention, as Job said: “That which I was afraid of hath overtaken me,” and my yoghurt has overtaken me. I may not have realized that Judea and Samaria has turned from an area dripping with infection to one dripping with milk, and the Hebron Hills area has become the bastion of the Jewish goat.

To Sarid, this is a serious moral dilemma. Does he eat the evil settler yogurt produced by Jewish goats or not?

And what can I do after the act has been done? Can I wolf down my yoghurt, even though the settlement of Sussia eats up lands that don’t belong to it?

Anyway Yossi Sarid would like the Israeli government to save him from this moral dilemma by labeling the yogurt BDS style.

Please separate with a clear marking between the products from here and the products from there, over the Green Line. After all, you are not plotting to force-feed me, as if I was on a hunger strike for reasons of conscience.

Or Yossi Sarid could avail himself of lists produced by the many leftist NGOs funded by the EU with which he is entirely familiar with, but he’s too lazy to do it.

He wants the government to subsidize and ease his bigotry for him so he doesn’t have to interact with evil Jewish settler goats.

Bonus Yossi Sarid: His trip to heaven.

Yossi Sarid, a vocal atheist and former head of Meretz, raised quite a few eyebrows this week when he told an Army Radio interviewer (in the Hebrew interview below) that he once died and experienced his soul rising up to Heaven.

YS: Yes, we were travelling in the car, and suddenly I felt faint and I felt a huge wave of heat come over me, and I felt myself rising up, flying higher and higher. And I felt a very deep feeling of the soul leaving my body. And as my soul was flying, I looked down at the earth, and I saw my family was continuing to travel in the car because my wife wanted to get me to the hospital as quickly as possible…This is what happens, [when a person dies] the spirit separates from the body…The soul wants to get out, it wants to be set free, it also wants a bit of freedom, it wants to focus on other things, to be liberated from this internal prison…

I: I have to tell you that this conversation, and hearing these words from you, one of the most realistic and logical and cynical people I know towards discussions like this, and you are presenting this as a fact…

YS: …But I should clarify that I believe that this entire experience took place without Divine intervention from any Father in Heaven. I do not believe in the eternity of the spirit. That contradicts my ideology.

If only the government could label Yossi Sarid so no one would actually listen to him. It would save everyone time.

  • montana83

    There is a place for him in the Obama administration somewhere.

    • Gee

      Spokesman for the State Department

  • Hard Little Machine

    Are you sure he’s not Ronan Farrow?

  • Pete

    Mr Greenfield really now, you ask a lot of us. You expect us to believe there is a politician stupider than John Kerry?

    I am incredulous and yet it appears to be true.

    • Gee

      We have lots of them in Israel. Heck he actually makes MK Lapid look intelligent.

      • Pete

        You mean we have to invent a special scale to measure human stupidity?

      • Sara

        How do you tolerate these idiots? They should go live with the Arabs they love so much.

  • Pete

    Maybe Yossi could clearly mark himself, when he appears on TV or walks on the street with a dunce cap. It would help the voters.

  • http://ruleofreason.blogspot.com/ Edward Cline

    I hear that TV producers are thinking of reviving Robin Williams’ “Mork from Ork” character and making him even goofier and more confused than the original. Perhaps Yossi should write Hollywood and apply for the job. The studio wouldn’t need to hire script writers. He could write his own material.

    • http://sultanknish.blogspot.com Daniel Greenfield

      unfortunately he would just surrender the studio to the PLO

      • http://ruleofreason.blogspot.com/ Edward Cline

        This is true.

  • TL2014

    Hahahahahaha Daniel, thanks for giving me the chance to rofl this morning!! How do you dig up the best stories? And your commentary, to die for!

    Wish I could have lunch with you one day :) until then, keep up the excellent work!

    • http://sultanknish.blogspot.com Daniel Greenfield

      thanks

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  • Daniel L. Levy

    You’re being too hard on old Yossi Sarid. I remember him in better days, when he was one of the few genuinely pro-Israelis politicians in the country. He did pretty well as an Education Minister, and he can be eternally thanked for having been successful at raising environmental issues to the government’s agenda, in a small and overcrowded country that had not really dealt with the matter beforehand. I’d agree that his old age is not really honoring his very real record on behalf of all of us Israelis, and that reminds me a little bit of the late Kurt Vonnegut, the literary and philosophical light of my generation, who contracted a lethal form of Bush Derangement Syndrome in his last days.