Global Warming has more aliases than most mob bosses in witness protection.
Apparently the problem is with the name. Once they figure out the perfect brand for it, then everyone will finally hop on their bikes made out of recycled aluminum cans and pedal back to their artisinal caves.
First there was “global warming.” Then many researchers suggested “climate change” was a better term. Now, White House science adviser John Holdren is renewing his call for a new nomenclature to describe the end result of dumping vast quantities of carbon dioxide and other heat-trapping gases into Earth’s atmosphere: “global climate disruption.”
“I’ve always thought that the phrase ‘global warming’ was something of a misnomer because it suggests that the phenomenon is something that is uniform around the world, that it’s all about temperature, and that it’s gradual,” Holdren said yesterday.
Okay guys, forget all that stuff we said about temperatures gradually rising around the world. We fudged the numbers and it’s still not happening.
Let’s spin it like it’s an action movie. We need a splashy title that suggests that any second now the world could freeze or catch on fire.
How about “Man-Caused Disasters?” Sorry. That’s Islamophobic. Okay then, Global Climate Disruption. That sounds scary? Right?
Holdren has made similar calls before, apparently with limited effect on the public’s vocabulary. This time, the remarks came in the context of a brief preview Holdren gave of a new climate report that the Obama administration is scheduled to release next week.
Come on guys, let’s help Holdren find a new name for his scam.
Man-Caused Massive Climate Global Disaster
Super-Mega Climate Catastrophe
Give Al Gore Money or the World Blows Up
Attack of the Temperatures that Sometimes Rise and then Fall
If You Make Fun of Our Name, You’re Racist
…one of these has got to work.