Muslims Declare Jihad on Cadbury Chocolates, After Jihad on Pepsi


The Cadbury bunny isn’t Halal and there’s a Jihad out on his head. (via Religion of Peace)

Last month the Muslim Brotherhood threatened terror attacks against Pepsi. Now the Jihad rolls on to chocolates in moderate Muslim Malaysia where there’s always a moderate Jihad about something.

More than 20 Malay-Muslim groups have called for a nationwide boycott on all Cadbury products, saying that a holy war needs to be waged against the confectionary giant for attempting to “weaken” Muslims in Malaysia.

Muslims can dominate an entire country and still be paranoid and insecure. That’s what Supremacist theocrats are like. They constantly need enemies to fight.

Perkid president Ustaz Masridzi Sat said most social ills and apostasy cases in the country involving Muslims stemmed from them consuming food which was not halal.

Sure. They’re leaving Islam because of the chocolate. Not because of lunatics like this…

“Because the person eats pork it is difficult to guide him to the right path. When the day of judgment comes, that person will be wearing a pig-face because of what he has eaten,” he said.

And the others will be wearing goat-faces? I’m not sure that’s such an improvement. And what of those with broccoli faces?

The only people left with human faces will be cannibals.

“We need to unite, we must declare jihad!” said Masridzi to shouts of “Allahuakbar” (God is great!) from the others in attendance.

Jihad. Is there anything it can’t solve?

“Will Cadbury wash away the tainted blood in our veins? I want to wash away the tainted blood of my children who have consumed the chocolates… how will money even compensate that?” a Malay woman present shouted hysterically.

Somehow I suspect enough money from Cadbury will fix all that tainted Muslim blood.

A Malay group called Jaringan Melayu Malaysia (JMM) said it plans to sue Cadbury Confectionery Malaysia following reports that two of its products contained traces of pig DNA.

“There are about 80 Muslim NGO teams waiting to sue Cadbury and seek an estimated RM100 million in damages,” he said.

What’s the price of pig-tainted Muslim blood? Apparently it’s 31 million dollars. And then we can wait for the next Jihad.

  • cxt


    I am totally comfortable with this group of rational, level headed, reasonable and calm people having potential access to nuclear weapons.

  • Paul of Alexandria

    “The only people left with human faces will be cannibals.” Um, I have been reading a bunch of reports of Muslims eating human flesh lately.


      Cannibalism in Syria.

    • SF Gal

      Yes, that’s actually a common practice when they’re commiting jihad. They eat the body parts of their victims. Even Putin mentioned it

  • DogmaelJones1

    Well, the next time Muslims fly planes into Western skyscrapers, or bomb a bar in Bali, or kidnap about 300 Nigerian schoolgirls, or bomb a marathon race, their “moderate” brethren can refrain from handing out candy in celebration. Stay away from the sweets. Settle for “halal” jerky. I’ve read that snakes are scrumptious. Islam is as much fun as a barrel of dead monkeys.

  • CowboyUp

    It sounds like at least one of their faithful muslim DNA testers could be eating or handling pork.

  • Habbgun

    Moslem NGO’s and a 30 Million lawsuit? Leftists and Islamist get closer and closer every day. One day they’ll simply live on dirty rugs in parks and call it the Moscqupy movement.

  • Elizabeth Cape Cod

    These people don’t even bathe. I’m pretty sure they have some pig DNA of their own.

    • Tim

      Pigs and Boars have been around this earth for millions of years…right. Couldn’t you say that the air we breath was once the breath of one of these innocent animals. I can imagine that the earth which they grow their food was once pig feces. Traces of animal dna is everywhere on this planet. Grow up muslims and eat it.

  • Antonio Ribeiro

    Ahahahahahah! Great article!!! Sharing on Face.

  • dawn

    i am sick and tired of this jihad stuff. do not eat it then. let us infadels eat what we want.cadbury is one thing, but my main food group is PEPSI.let me live my life and live your own in your country, not mine

  • Hard Little Machine

    They’re not Kosher either, everyone knows that. Known it since forever. Somehow I can’t rouse myself to run out and murder a hundred people about though.

  • Carl Mayo

    there is nothing so stupid that a muslim or liberal won’t believe it

  • SF Gal

    I have been singing “KILL THE CHOCOLATE” (Remember: “Kill da’ wabbit, kill da’ wabbit”) for five days and it just keeps getting funnier every time I sing it. Oh damn. Now the news states that there were in fact NO traces of porcine in the chocolate but the Muslims of course are having none of that!!! They still want to declare that they have been discriminated against. Best news story of the year

  • SF Gal

    Hey!! Why did you post a picture of that fuzzy bun-bun with the tall ears and fluffy white coat? What, are you a Kaffir? Don’t you know that sucker is Haram? Have some respect, man! It probably has traces of porcine on its nose!!