Obama Challenges Caliph of ISIS to Golf Game

Obama plays golf

Facing criticism for going right from his Foley statement back to his golf game, the White House announced today that what appeared to be a bored manchild taking endless vacations and hanging out with his pals at taxpayer expense was actually part of a cunning scheme to defeat ISIS.

“Next week, President Obama intends to challenge the Caliph of ISIS to 19 holes at the Kaneohe Klipper Golf Course in Hawaii,” White House spokesman Josh Earnest said. “His entire administration, all his experiences, have been leading up to this point. Every time conservatives ridiculed him, he was actually training for the day when he will personally defeat ISIL. At golf.”

While some pundits have questioned whether the Caliph of the Islamic State would even agree to take part in a golf game and what beating him at golf would accomplish, MSNBC and CNN were quick to tout the advantages.

“President Obama is like Batman,” Dr. Marc Lamont Hill told CNN’s Don Lemon. “If Batman fought crime by playing golf. Instead of fighting fire with fire, Barack is going to fight fire with golf.”

However in an exclusive interview with Jeffrey Goldberg, Hillary Clinton suggested that challenging the Caliph to a golf game wasn’t much of a strategy.

“It just doesn’t make sense,” the former Secretary of State said. “Maybe challenge him to a game of ping pong in the tradition of the US rapprochement with China. Or to see who can best defend a 12-year-old girl’s rapist by calling her a mentally ill slut. I could do that one again in my sleep.”

Some questions have been raised about whether the Caliph should even be allowed in the United States, but then it was pointed out that these days anyone can cross the southern border.

While the Caliph of the Islamic State did not yet issue a formal response, an ISIS press release warned that “The Lions of Mosul, the Knights of Tikrit and the Warriors of that Pile of Rubble Near Baghdad would play golf with the heads of the Zionist Crusader infidels and their Freemason Monkey-Pig allies.”

  • Jay_hawk

    ISIS has no chance because Obama IS a hole, in one.

  • fpm

    The small ball, of course, belongs to Hussein, and the club, of course will have the shape of an Arab curved sword.

  • Monika

    Oh how cute. A new idea for conquering the world. Why didn’t we elect Tiger Woods?

    • Boots

      Tiger has more gravitas than Obama and treated his ex wife with the same respect we’ve come to expect from Democrats.

    • truebearing

      Good point. At least Tiger only tried to screw half of America.

  • edlancey

    Is this a spoof ?

    I’m assuming The Bathhouse isn’t a good golfer or we’d have been heard about how he was thinking of turning pro – if we’re all still alive when he gets out of office.

    • http://www.stubbornthings.org NAHALKIDES

      Yes, it’s a spoof. The sad thing is, it’s just barely a spoof – golfing while the world burns and the American economy is in the toilet is just how Obama functions.

      • edlancey

        It’s difficult to know, it could so easily be true.

        • http://www.stubbornthings.org NAHALKIDES

          Yes, indeed.

  • TL2014

    This is a joke right Daniel? Thanks for the chuckle:)

  • camp7

    Is satire all we have left in a world of insanity?

    “I laugh a great deal because I like to laugh, yet everything I say is deadly serious.” ~ Don Juan

    • truebearing

      Humor is always at someone’s expense. Let’s run up the bill making fun of Obama and the Left. It’s therapeutic.

      • camp7

        I concur. What really amuses me is I almost finished reading the entire article just thinking more real life bizarreness before I finally got the satire part. Lol.

  • laura r

    it is believable. i can see a golf game & some “reaching out”. drinks- buffet, why not? theyre all in bed together anyway. might as well be out in the open.

  • truebearing

    Well done! :)

    If this game happens, I recommend that Obama pays very close attention to their slice…

  • Robert T. Griffin

    These stark differences that exist in our opinions concerning the terror organization Isis should not be about the apprehension of the one Executioner involved in James Foley’s beheading, Isis is a living breathing cancer, a culture of death, DOD… it’s why you exist, do your job, all the civilized world appears to be waiting for your response in what some people are calling into question as a very serious accusation of our President being a wayward soul in carrying out the Duties of Office as Commander-In-Chief.

    Political divides are a force of human nature, choose, make your stand known, live with the consequences as it might relate to your own personal decisions in making anew conditions under review. It’s these kinds of situations that help fuel social change, they will always stimulate our individual consciousness into a haphazard and sometimes prejudicial review of our own personal character as it might relate to our involvement with the particular issues at hand socially and economically. Provocateur, we all fit that bill… It’s in the interim of searching for solutions to our fluctuations in the mouths we will feed, in the bills we will pay, in the revenue we must secure that everybody should realize we all have a choice in these matters of the Heart. Everybody’s right, yet differences will always remain a constant feature in our understanding as to why, casualties are inevitable, failure just a means to an End… It’s an Evolutionally process that’s guaranteed in the mix that will eventually advance the causes of humanity after these socially generated debris flows stabilize and a thorough forensic examination has been done, we all need to be engaged, we all have something to offer, life… not Death. It should be an obvious choice given the enormous obligations and responsibilities we have as human beings in fulfilling these duties to God and Country. Humanity doesn’t stand alone in this struggle to survive and make whole that purposeful existence we each share intimately with others that has been outlined by our Creator!

  • Ivan

    Is this true or satire? what does it say about obama when I have to ask? There is nothing you can say about this man that will surprise me.

  • Ivan

    i cannot believe that our enemies have not taken advantage of our weakness under obama. I’m convinced that as most of the are communists like obama, that they believe his bs, and consequently have missed just how weak we are. Putin could have taken half of Ukraine by now. We would have done nothing. Iran could have planted a bomb in New York and we would not punish them. we are rapable right now, and our enemies are overestimating us.

  • patechinois

    The allure of golf to Obama is that he was told the lowest score wins. “Uh, hey, I can do that!”

  • patechinois

    The Special O limp _ick.

  • Avery111

    Wait a minute.. You mean this isn’t true??

  • hopkins

    For Obama to make light of a serious and deadly matter is emblematic of what he is about. Many of his followers are the victim minded types that will bond with any cult of personality leader who is base and sick. This is the personality of Barry Obama. It’s all so cute and we can cure it all with a bit of well-wishing and humor. The many killed by the so-called Caliph’s cause would disagree.

  • Irv Spielberg

    More on oBAH!ma

    Here are the nicest words oBAH!ma could ever
    repeat on a golf course: “I’m having a stroke,” “I’m having a stroke,”
    “I’m having a stroke”! (For more him, Google “The Background Obama
    Can’t Cover Up.”)