Andrew Klavan interviews one of the tens of thousands of unaccompanied minors streaming over America’s Southern border to discover more about the little feller’s harrowing ordeal. See the video and transcript:
I’m Andrew Klavan and this is the Revolting Truth.
[Pointing at a completely blank blackboard:] This is the United States of America!… after the Obama administration removed the borders.
Right here… somewhere… a humanitarian crisis is unfolding as tens of thousands of Central American children come streaming into the place where our country used to be. The invasion was incited by President Obama’s threats to grant these children amnesty with just a phone and a pen that he’ll use to cross out the sections of the constitution that limit his powers.
Now, many fear that flooding the nation with confused, terrified juveniles who have no notion of American customs or laws is an attempt to expand the Democrat voter base… since “confused, terrified juveniles with no notion of American customs or laws” is actually a definition of the Democrat voter base.
But we here at the Revolting Truth are determined to get the facts. So today, through the miracle of Chalk-o-vision, we’re going to interview one of these poor lost children.
[A fifty year old jihadi in turban and long beard appears]
Well, my little friend, and how old are you?
AK: Eleven years old
HM: From Central America.
AK: I see. And what country in Central America are you from?
AK: Are you from Guatemala… San Salvador…
HM: Yes, Guatemala San Salvador, that is my country in Central America.
AK: Right. You know, as much as we sympathize with your plight, little feller, many of us fear that so many unchecked refugees might bring diseases with them.
HM: I have no diseases.
HM: Allah has healed my malady with his magic powers.
AK: Great. Of course, there’s still the problem that we can’t care for so many unskilled newcomers.
HM: I have many skills.
AK: Like what?
HM: I can fly a plane, and I can build a nuclear device out of paper clips and a plastic bag.
AK: Wow. Still, don’t all countries have the right and the need to protect their borders?
HM: Imagine there’s no countries. It isn’t hard to do.
AK: I see. Like the John Lennon song. Nothing to kill or die for.
HM: Except Jihad.
AK: Oh boy.
HM: You wouldn’t happen to have a plastic bag on you, would you?
AK: No, no, no.
HM: [singing] you may say I’m a dreamer….
AK: This is Andrew Klavan with the revolting truth.
HM: But I’m not the only one. I hope someday you will join us. And the world can live as one…