Andrew Klavan: Country Without Borders

klAndrew Klavan interviews one of the tens of thousands of unaccompanied minors streaming over America’s Southern border to discover more about the little feller’s harrowing ordeal. See the video and transcript:


I’m Andrew Klavan and this is the Revolting Truth.

[Pointing at a completely blank blackboard:]  This is the United States of America!…  after the Obama administration removed the borders.

Right here…  somewhere…   a humanitarian crisis is unfolding as tens of thousands of Central American children come streaming into the place where our country used to be. The invasion was incited by President Obama’s threats to grant these children amnesty with just a phone and a pen that he’ll use to cross out the sections of the constitution that limit his powers.

Now, many fear that flooding the nation with confused, terrified juveniles who have no notion of American customs or laws is an attempt to expand the Democrat voter base…  since “confused, terrified juveniles with no notion of American customs or laws” is actually a definition of the Democrat voter base.

But we here at the Revolting Truth are determined to get the facts.  So today, through the miracle of Chalk-o-vision, we’re going to interview one of these poor lost children.

[A fifty year old jihadi in turban and long beard appears]

Well, my little friend, and how old are you?

HM: Eleven.

AK:  Eleven years old

HM:  From Central America.

AK:  I see.  And what country in Central America are you from?

HM:  Hanh?

AK:  Are you from Guatemala…  San Salvador…

HM:  Yes, Guatemala San Salvador, that is my country in Central America.

AK:  Right.  You know, as much as we sympathize with your plight, little feller, many of us fear that so many unchecked refugees might bring diseases with them.

HM:  I have no diseases.

AK:  Really.

HM:  Allah has healed my malady with his magic powers.

AK:  Great.  Of course, there’s still the problem that we can’t care for so many unskilled newcomers.

HM:  I have many skills.

AK:  Like what?

HM:  I can fly a plane, and I can build a nuclear device out of paper clips and a plastic bag.

AK:  Wow.  Still, don’t all countries have the right and the need to protect their borders?

HM:  Imagine there’s no countries.  It isn’t hard to do.

AK:  I see.  Like the John Lennon song.  Nothing to kill or die for.

HM:  Except Jihad.

AK:  Oh boy.

HM:  You wouldn’t happen to have a plastic bag on you, would you?

AK:  No, no, no.

HM:  [singing]  you may say I’m a dreamer….

AK:  This is Andrew Klavan with the revolting truth.

HM:  But I’m not the only one. I hope someday you will join us. And the world can live as one…

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  • Big_Foot

    Worst rendition of “Imagine” I’ve ever heard.

    • Ginger Li

      You should hear the Palestinian version, ‘Imagine there’s no Hebrews. They’ve all been hacked to pieces.’

  • DilloTank

    The 72 virgins!!! What about the 72 virgins!!!

    That’s worth killing and dying for!!!!

    • Headed4TheHills

      You know what’s really funny?
      It’s never indicated what species make up the “72 virgins”.

      • Ginger Li

        Goats and sheep, of course – male and female. Baaaaa

      • Sheik Yerbouti

        Or gender. I hope Bin Laden, Saddam and Kaddafi are each getting porked by 72 virgin boys named Mohammad.

      • ebonystone

        Probably Allah, the Most Merciful, gives a choice: donkeys. sheep, goats, boys, or women.

  • physicsnut

    it gets more brazen by the day. So much for ‘representative government’. Who pays for these clowns to show up in Washington ? They sure have a lot of money for people who are supposedly fleeing poverty. Maybe George Will is sending them money ? Maybe Glenn Beck ?
    ENOUGH of the Anchor Babies
    ENOUGH of Sanctuary Cities
    ENOUGH of Zuckerberg’s lies
    ENOUGH of stupid little stories on NPR, NY Times, Bloomberg News and others about “the children”. Did you ever notice that they NEVER link immigration to any problems – such as the South Bronx burning down ? Compare pictures of the South Bronx with pictures of Dresden. Not much difference.
    The amnesty crowd thinks we haven’t figured out what is going on.
    Their Spin Machine is certainly well funded and coordinated.

    Pelosi needs to be HOUNDED OUT OF OFFICE. What a lying creep.
    These clowns are orchestrating a TROJAN HORSE to admit millions of illegals. Plus – they let this economic mess drag on and on and on, and they pile on more expenses – like
    we get to pay for our own destruction.
    Meanwhile their lapdogs at NPR play heart rending stories – which is what they always do for their propaganda. You can hear expert 21st century propaganda all the time.

    maybe the House needs to start some serious de-funding, and Americans at the State level need to counteract this power grabbing. Get ready to invalidate some Presidential Directives.
    And hammer the Media creeps who are pushing for this AMNESTY rubbish.

    • Ginger Li

      That sounds RAAcist! You mean you don’t support the Dear;Leader? Now calm down. Tell us what you really think. Careful now. Sedation, medication and reeducation may be called for.

      • Edward E

        In the 1960′s “Anti-racists” forced EVERY & ONLY white countries to open their borders to massive non-white immigration.

        Then “Anti-racists” FORCED ALL & ONLY white people to “integrate” or face consequences for being “intolerant”.

        Now “Anti-racists” are calculating that ALL and ONLY white children will become minorities and eventually EXTINCT!

        If “Anti-racists” did this to EVERY & ONLY black countries, IT WOULD be called a GENOCIDE!

        Anti-racist is a >code< for anti-White

    • PATRIOT.WW48


  • Sassy Serf

    The Five on Fox have officially designated Tea Party people as right-wing fringe lunatics. Maybe not Eric. . .so make that four on Fox. It seems that impeaching Obama is inappropriate because impeachment is for high crimes and misdemeanors. I guess promoting and abetting the invasion on our southern border is not a high crime. Whether impeachment is a savvy way to go or not — seems like everyone in the MSM (and I include Fox), the GOP and Democrats intend to gloss over the lawlessness of Obama’s regime.

  • Ellen_L

    Andrew Klavan is one of the best at combining the truth (which is often revolting) with a lovely biting sense of humor. Keep them coming. And thanks for the chuckles.

  • robertfishercalifornia

    But, but David Horowitz supports ilegal immigrants and a so called “immigration reform”