Save the Trees, Defeat Islamic Terrorism!


In Israel, two wings of the progressive movement are set to clash, and hopefully take each other out in a blaze of stupid, while the rest of us point and laugh… the environmentalist movement and the jihad movement are about to go to war. Or, if they had any shreds of intellectual honesty, they would.

College Unveils Plan for Mixed-Sex Dorm Rooms; No Possible Way This Could Go Wrong


Naturally, OU’s administrators see absolutely no way that turning dormitories full of hormonal, emotionally immature kids barely out of high school into school-sanctioned love shacks can go wrong.

Unilateral Disarmament Is For Suckers: Don’t Be Fooled By Calls For “Civility”


What is being asked of conservatives is not civility, it’s a unilateral disarmament. Progressives have no intention of “toning it down,” but they do have every intention of shutting up conservatives.

Hope for the Unemployed: If Helen Thomas Can Find a Job, So Can You!


As the economy spits and sputters towards recovery, there are signs of hope starting to sprout out there for us job-seekers. One of those signs of recovery is proof that even the most odious and repugnant job seekers can find gainful employment if they just look in the right places.

Union Thugs Throw SnowMageddon Hostage Situation Snit-Fit!


At least two NYC residents died during last week’s snowstorm when emergency workers couldn’t navigate snow-covered streets to reach them in time. Could SEIU bosses face criminal charges for ordering the Sanitation Department slowdown that kneecapped the city?

The Blue and “Teh Ghey”—A Brewing Civil War on the Right?


Beware the homosexual conservative! That’s what some social-conservative groups are warning organizers of the Conservative Political Action Conference this week, as two socially conservative advocacy groups announced that they would be boycotting the yearly political convention, started by the American Conservative Union and Young Americans for Freedom.

Pro-Terrorist Grinches Thwarted in Ecotopia—For Now


Dateline: Seattle, Washington. Or, as I like to mockingly call it, Ecotopia. The city that unleashed upon the world such horrors as Courtney Love, Microsoft, and Starbucks Coffee, was being invaded for Christmas. The signs of the Christmas invasion were everywhere… mostly because the invasion’s signs actually were signs, on the sides of public transportation [...]

Keith Olbermann Rage-Quits Twitter, Much Rejoicing in the Land


Breaking news: The intelligence of the average Twitter feed just skyrocketed. Everyone’s favorite MSNBC (“Most Socialist Network On Basic Cable“) mental featherweight, Keith Olbermann, rage-quit the social-networking service on Thursday, citing his frustration over being targeted and mocked by supporters of the government secrets clearinghouse website, Wikileaks. Olbermann had been the target of a “Twitter [...]

Eco-Terrorism: Because Recycling Is for Sissies


Two weeks ago, Los Angeles was attacked by terrorists. By “Los Angeles,” I mean “the University of California-Los Angeles,” and by “terrorists”… well, no, that one was correct. UCLA neurology professor David Jentsch, who studies the chemistry of addiction, as well as Jentsch’s colleagues, received a box full of bloody razor blades, which tested positive [...]

Having an “Empire State of Mind” Means Never Having to Say “Sorry”


Famous rapper. Owner of the New Jersey Nets. Rabid Bush-Basher. Complete ignoramus. All of these terms, and many other noun-adjective pairs, have been used to describe Jay-Z—real name Shawn Carter—whose aliases include “Lucky Lefty,”  “Jiggy,” and “H.O.V.A.” But “conspiracy theorist”? That’s a new low, even for Jiggy. Appearing on the “Late Show with David Letterman” [...]