Quietly miserable over his passing.
Inevitably, following the general pleasure at the news the Osama bin Laden is finally residing in Hell, it will come to light that certain members of the Left are quietly miserable over his passing. They are the ones for whom evil is not really definable, terror is in the eye of the beholder and America is always wrong. In other words, most of the hard Left and virtually the entire media elite. That’s a pretty big list, so I thought I should narrow it down to the ones who will be the most despondent over this delightful news for America.
In accordance with the new tone of civility, NRB suggests you send a personal sympathy card to each grieving individual on the list. You can click here and email this highly appropriate condolence with just the right touch of maudlin snark. (Contact information will be provided.)
10. Patty Murray
Dubbed the “dumbest woman in congress” (although I think Cynthia McKinney is suing for the rights to that title), Patty Murray once lauded bin Laden’s kindness and generosity in comparison to the callous and brutal America. No, really.
Trying to explain why Osama bin Laden might be popular in the Arab world while Americans were not, she said he was “building schools, building roads, building infrastructure, building day-care facilities, building health-care facilities, and the people are extremely grateful. We have not done that.”
Nah, America hasn’t built any schools or roads or infrastructure, unless you count the 133 health clinics built by Americans at a cost of $345 million or the water treatment plants now serving almost 2 million people that cost the American taxpayers $1.6 billion or the new sewer system benefiting over 5 million people to the tune of $254 million. Nope, according to Murray we just bomb stuff and bin Laden is the real hero.
To send Senator Murray a condolence card, post on her Twitter page (@PattyMurray) or her Facebook page and show her you care. After all, one man’s brutal dictator is another man’s fuzzy-wuzzy love-muffin who builds schools.
9. Medea Benjamin and the staff of Code Pink
Let us give meaning to the death of Osama Bin Laden by putting an end to the violence. Sign the petition to President Obama: Enough — Let the Peace Begin.
Yes, let’s search deep within ourselves to find meaning in the death of a madman who seriously had it coming. That sounds like a ginormous waste of time. While the Left is doing that, I’m going to clip more coupons to help offset the skyrocketing inflation. I can feel the peace already.
What confounds me about Benjamin is for all we know she might have been working for bin Laden! But since the word “traitor” has absolutely no meaning anymore she’s free to traipse about the globe stabbing her country in the back. She has hand delivered a letter from Hamas to Obama. She has hand delivered $600,000 to militant Muslim insurgents responsible for killing American soldiers. She’s a courier for terror! Despite her machinations to appear glad that bin Laden is dead, I would bet it’s just the opposite.
8. Cynthia McKinney
Former congresswoman Cynthia McKinney, most famous for socking a Capitol Hill police officer in the face for asking her for ID, has a long history of embarrassing herself and her nation. But while her “Jerry Springer Show” antics were kind of funny at home, it got ugly when she took the show on the road.
While trying for the second time to get through an Israeli blockade to deliver “humanitarian” supplies to Hamas (which usually amounts to large amounts of cash that gets used to buy more rockets to shoot at Israeli children) McKinney was arrested. From an Israeli prison, she penned this laugh-riot.
Zionism has surely run out of its last legitimacy if this is what it does to people who believe so deeply in human rights for all that they put their own lives on the line for someone else’s children. Israel is the fullest expression of Zionism, but if Israel fears for its security because Gaza’s children have crayons then not only has Israel lost its last shred of legitimacy, but Israel must be declared a failed state.
I agree that Israel is a failed state; they failed to rid us of McKinney. I was hoping for a life sentence. Considering McKinney’s hatred of Israel, she has lost a kindred spirit in bin Laden in the fight against the evil Zionists.
7. Michael Moore
Michael Moore famously stated emphatically after the towers fell that there is no terrorist threat. And since Moore doesn’t believe in terrorists, it’s not surprising he finds himself very concerned over Bin Laden’s burial at sea. He tweeted his disapproval.
OBL buried at sea according 2 Muslim tradition. Yes most Muslim funerals I’ve attended, we got in a chopper & tossed the deceased in L. Erie
Send him your warmest wishes and salutations at firstname.lastname@example.org.
I think rockets are being fired by your own sources, since less than ten israelis have been killed by them. You are bullshitting the world as you pocket money made from arms sales, along with bibi and your agents in Hamas. step down all men in power!
These kind of theories could have been written by Bin Laden himself. For all we know, that’s where she got them! Maybe she was a big YouTube fan of his. I guess we’ll never know. Her recent tweets suggests she’s glad he’s dead, but I don’t think she really understood him. If she had, she would realize he supported all the same things she does like the destruction of Israel, lying about Israel and ginning up hate stories about Israel. And I heard he liked to dress up like Hitler and bake little replicas of Jews in his oven too.
Send cards to Roseanne on Twitter (@TheRealRoseanne).
5. Helen Thomas
Jobless and now losing a fellow anti-Semite, Helen Thomas must be in the depths of despair. Thomas has never made any secret of her hatred for Israel and support of Hamas and can always be counted on to give the Hezbollah point of view, as the late, great Tony Snow so wonderfully pointed out. The final straw that sent Thomas to the unemployment line was her caught-on-video statement regarding the Jews and her view they should return to Germany and Poland.
Unfortunately for us, Thomas couldn’t be persuaded to return to Lebanon from where her parents immigrated. With the depth of feeling Thomas has in her shriveled little heart for members of terrorist organizations, bin Laden’s death is sure to hit her hard.
Send your sympathy greetings to email@example.com.
4. Jane Fonda
Considering how much Jane Fonda hates America and Americans at war, as evidenced by her traitorous activity in Vietnam including but not limited to posing with anti-aircraft guns that killed Americans and lying about the conditions in which our prisoners of war were kept, we’re fairly certain Fonda is a sad sack upon hearing a fellow America-hater is dead. People who hate America tend to stick together.
Not only does Fonda love the commies, but she’s BFFs with Code Pink’s Jodie Evans who personally traveled to Afghanistan and met with leaders of the Taliban! Good gracious! It makes one dizzy just thinking about the audacity of these dopes.
Fonda is also a Palestinian sympathizer who once scheduled a meeting with Yassir Arafat. And even worse:
[J]ust days after terrorists had killed some 3,000 people on 9/11, Fonda said that instead of retaliation, the U.S. should try to understand the “underlying reasons” behind the murderous attacks.
The retaliation must be tearing her up inside.
To comfort Fonda in her time of sorrow, send your e-sympathy greeting to her on Twitter (@JaneFonda).
3. Noam Chomsky
It’s time to play “Guess Who Said It!” Your choices are Noam Chomsky or Osama bin Laden.
We should not forget that the U.S. itself is a leading terrorist state.
If you guessed bin Laden, you would be wrong. Chomsky, a self-described anarchist and general America-hater is probably working furiously on a manifesto indicting the United States for breaking international law by killing bin Laden right now. Chomsky has been highly critical of the American response to Islamic terrorism and frequently downplays the 9/11 attacks:
Chomsky dismisses the atrocity of 9/11 as one that was dwarfed in magnitude by Bill Clinton’s 1998 missile attack on a factory in the Sudan following the bombings of two U.S. embassies by al Qaeda, in which no one was injured.
Telling an MIT audience of 2,000 that the U.S. military response against the terrorists in Afghanistan was a calculated “genocide” that would cause the deaths of 3 to 4 million Afghanis, Chomsky denounced America as “the world’s greatest terrorist state.” He also traveled to the Muslim world to repeat the charges of U.S. genocide and terror to millions in Islamabad and New Delhi.
Not surprising. It’s likely that Chomsky has a pretty big soft spot for bin Laden after the murderous terrorist praised him as “one of the most capable” citizens of the United States. He could definitely use an e-card and probably some tissues.
Send sympathetic musings to firstname.lastname@example.org.
2. Bill Ayers and Bernadine Dohrn
Pentagon bomber and attempted cop-killer Bill Ayers joined Code Pink in their protest in Gaza against the Israeli blockade when Hamas was lobbing mortars into Israel. It’s pretty interesting how connected everyone on this list is. I bet they’ve all been to the same cocktail party a time or two where they tell Bush jokes and plot to subvert the Constitution. Ayers and his terrorist wife Bernardine Dohrn must be singing the bin Laden blues. He did what they had plotted unsuccessfully to do. You can’t tell me they weren’t pleased as pie to watch the Pentagon go up in smoke. These are the same people who thought Charles Manson, who randomly and brutally killed a pregnant Sharon Tate, her husband and their friends for no reason other than he is a complete psycho, was a freedom fighter.
“First they killed those pigs, then they ate dinner in the same room with them, then they even shoved a fork into the victim’s stomach! Wild!” In greeting each other, delegates to the war council often spread their fingers to signify the fork.
Kill all the rich people. Break up their cars and apartments. Bring the revolution home, Kill your parents.
Osama bin Laden is clearly a kindred spirit with these two American terrorists and I assume, much like their unwavering love for communist dictators, bin Laden won’t be left out of their list of “greats.”
To send your regards, contact Ayers and Dohrn at email@example.com.
1. Louis Farrakhan
Often called the craziest bastard on earth (okay, maybe just by me), Louis Farrakhan tops the list of those who are mourning the death of the last craziest bastard on earth. (It is also important to note that Farrakhan and Bill Ayers live in Obama’s Chicago neighborhood. Coincidence? Or have we at last located the doorway to Hell right in the heart of Hyde Park? Somebody alert George Noory!)
Now that bin Laden is dead, Farrakhan can take his place in the outrageous Jew-hating category.
Some of you think that I’m just somebody who’s got something out for the Jewish people. You’re stupid. Do you think I would waste my time if I did not think it was important for you to know Satan? My job is to pull the cover off of Satan so that he will never deceive you and the people of the world again.
Losing a soul-brother like bin Laden is going to leave a serious hole in Farrakhan’s pool of resources for new material against Jews. Luckily, he still has his alien friends.
You can reach out to him via Twitter (@TheOfficialHMLF).
Leave your suggestions in the comment section for other leftists who could use our comfort and sympathy as they mourn the death of their terrorist hero, Osama bin Laden.