That teen's first mistake was throwing a ham at a mosque. If he had done something respectable like smashing the windows of a Jewish shop while chanting "Free Gaza" then the judge would have hailed him as an idealistic model to the nation's youth. If he had only groomed young girls from broken homes for sex, the way so many mosque worshipers do, then the police would have looked the other way. But sadly he chose to commit a truly unpardonable act for which there can be no possible excuse. He offended Muslims.
Fighting terrorism is like triage. You focus on the really important stuff, like prosecuting teenagers for throwing hams at mosques, but let the small stuff, like Osama Bin Laden's right hand man walking the streets of London slide.
Because, as we all know, terrorism is caused by Muslims feeling offended or deprived in some way. And the only way to stop terrorism is by making sure that no Muslim is ever offended or upset by anything like hammed up mosques. And once that's accomplished, the petty task of actually putting away terrorism can be ignored.
A 16-year-old boy was arrested by police investigating a hate crime after pieces of ham were thrown at a mosque. The teenager was held on suspicion of a religiously aggravated public order offence by officers called to Broadfield Mosque in Crawley, West Sussex.
Or as they call it in Pakistan. Blasphemy.
That teen's first mistake was throwing a ham at a mosque. If he had done something respectable like smashing the windows of a Jewish shop while chanting "Free Gaza" then the judge would have hailed him as an idealistic model to the nation's youth. If he had only groomed young girls from broken homes for sex, the way so many mosque worshipers do, then the police would have looked the other way. But sadly he chose to commit a truly unpardonable act for which there can be no possible excuse. He hammed up a mosque. He offended Muslims.
Sussex Police said "real anguish and anxiety" was caused to worshippers who witnessed the incident as they left the mosque at around 4pm last Tuesday.
Naturally. The mosque worshipers were no doubt terrified of the prospect of more drive-by-mosque hamming attacks.
Eating pork and products made from it is strictly forbidden in Islam.
Which isn't a problem unless the mosque-goers spent a lot of time licking mosque walls.
Disorder which broke out following the incident was also being investigated, police said.
Mr Collen said: "We are aware of a relatively minor altercation that we hope to resolve using our restorative justice programme.
Can any linguistic experts please translate this from Orwellian into English? I'll assume that the anxious and anguished Muslims began attacking people. If it had been the other way around, the news story and the police would have specified clearly that there was an attack on Muslims and that it was worst thing to happen in the UK since the Norman Conquest.
Restorative justice programme is a euphemism for social reedcuation programs for low level offenders.
Meanwhile in completely unimportant news to be readily disregarded, Osama Bin Laden's right hand man is living the life of Reilly in London.
Hate preacher Abu Qatada issued orders to kill British and American civilians after the 9/11 terrorist attacks, according to a secret MI5 report seen by The Mail on Sunday.
Qatada, who has been described as Osama Bin Laden’s right-hand man in Europe, remains on bail in London after Home Secretary Theresa May lost the latest round in her battle to deport him to Jordan, where he is wanted for his alleged roles in two bomb plots against foreigners.
The court ruling – which means the extremist preacher is free to walk the streets of London for six hours a day – prompted Prime Minister David Cameron to say he was ‘completely fed up’ with the Qatada problem.
If only there were some way to get Abu Qatada to go beyond petty things like being Osama bin Laden's right hand man and do something really serious like throw a ham at a mosque. Maybe Four Lions' Barry can stop by to convince him of the virtue of hamming up your own mosque.