Kerry Vows Outreach to Entirely New Country He Just Made Up

Obama Inc. has failed in its outreach to real countries, maybe it can succeed with outreach to countries that don't exist.

"Is that Oz? I want to see the Wizard."

Our economy may be toast and our international influence couldn't even toast bread, but a side benefit of this administration is that life now imitates The Onion.

But remember John Kerry is an experienced world traveler. Like Obama, he knows that Austrian is a language. Like Hillary, he's fluent in Russian. And he's an expert on all the nations of the world. It's about time we had a true diplomat in charge instead of all these crazy GOPers who probably don't even believe that Global Warming created the world.

U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry may need a map or new glasses after he confused the central Asian countries of Kazakhstan and Kyrgyzstan, inventing an entirely new nation known as “Kyrzakhstan.”

The newly minted diplomat was referring to Kyrgyzstan, a poor, landlocked nation of 5.5 million, which he appeared to confuse with its resource-rich neighbour to the north, Kazakhstan.

Or maybe Kerry is foreshadowing a new plan to merge Kyrgyzstan and Kazakhstan together into one country. You never know.

The State Department kindly omitted the error in the official transcript of Wednesday's speech, which Mr Kerry delivered on the eve of his first foreign trip as secretary of state.

Kindly is one way of putting it. I can think of some others.

Mr Kerry's flub was all the more awkward, because Kyrgyzstan is a key ally in the U.S.-led war in Afghanistan and a major recipient of US aid, which totalled $41 million (£27 million) in 2011.

No big deal. Obama brushes his teeth with $41 million. He spends more than that on dog food. And Muslims are notoriously hard to offend.

I'm sure that the next time Chinese diplomats come calling, they won't point out that they at least know that Kyrgyzstan exists. The Russians won't either. It wouldn't be gentlemanly for them to point out that the American diplomatic effort is being headed up by a horse's ass, without the horse.

But there's a promising angle to this. Obama Inc. has completely failed in its international diplomatic outreach to real countries, maybe it can succeed with outreach to countries that don't exist.

I for one am looking forward to Kerry's upcoming tour of Oz.