First $1.5 Mil to Study Why Lesbians are Fat, Then $2.7 Mil to Study Why Lesbians Drink Too Much

The National Institutes of Health (NIH) awarded $1.5 million to study biological and social factors for why “three-quarters” of lesbians are obese and awarded $2.7 mil to understand why lesbians drink too much.

Considering how much time Obama spends pushing gay rights, maybe he could just stop harassing lesbians and stop wasting money.

First, The National Institutes of Health (NIH) awarded $1.5 million to study biological and social factors for why “three-quarters” of lesbians are obese and why gay males are not, calling it an issue of “high public-health significance.”

But apparently the NIH didn't feel that that enough money had been spent studying the social habits of lesbians because there was a $2.7 million study to understand why lesbians drink too much.

The National Institutes of Health (NIH) has awarded $2.7 million to study why lesbians are at a higher “risk for hazardous drinking.”

The University of Illinois has received grants since 2009 for its project, "Cumulative Stress and Hazardous Drinking in a Community of Adult Lesbians," which aims to develop “culturally sensitive” strategies to prevent lesbians from being drunks.

Are lesbians a culture now?  Apparently they are. All hail multiculturalism.

Are the "Don't Drink or Your Liver Will Turn Black and You'll Crash into a Lamppost" ads aimed at everyone else not "culturally sensitive" enough for lesbians?

Are lesbians not worried about livers turning black and crashing into lampposts? Do we need to spend 2.7 mil to find new ways of telling lesbians that crashing into lampposts is bad?

“However, very little is known about the factors that increase lesbians' risk for hazardous drinking.”

“We propose to build on and extend our study of sexual identity and drinking… to model effects of cumulative stress on hazardous drinking among lesbians.”

I am not a researcher, but I am going to go out on a limb and speculate that drinking has the same effect on lesbians that it does on the rest of the human race. And that lesbian stress is indistinguishable from human stress.

Furthermore, the problem may be worse for “lesbians of color,” the researchers say.

Are "lesbians of color" also a culture? How many lesbian cultures are there? If every sexuality in every minority group is its own culture, we'll soon have more cultures than people.

The grant states that there are “chronic stressors unique to sexual minorities, creating cumulative stress that may be compounded in lesbians of color.”

Like being studied by scientists.

The researchers are using a sample of 384 adult lesbians—50 percent of whom are a racial or ethnic minority—who were interviewed in 2000 and 2004, and a new panel of 250 lesbians. The grant states that the new panel was oversampled with Black and Latina lesbians, and young lesbians ages 18 to 25.

The study will try to determine whether childhood sexual abuse, “sexual- minority stressors,” and “racial/ethnic-minority stressors” predict hazardous drinking in lesbians, and which lesbians are at the highest risk.

The ones who participated in this story. Also the ones who had to read that sentence. After reading through that, I feel a compulsive need to drink and I'm not even a lesbian of color.