Under Mugabe, the price of an egg rose to 50 billion Zimbabwean dollars and a beer hit 150 billion dollars
Back in the day, Western diplomats insisted that Mugabe, instead of Bishop Abel Muzorewa, should run Zimbabwe. They got their way. These are the wonderful fruits of the UK's Lancaster House Agreement.
Why beer and eggs?
Under Mugabe, the price of an egg rose to 50 billion Zimbabwean dollars and a beer hit 150 billion dollars because Mugabe had the same idea of economics as Obama and Paul Krugman; just print more money.
Mugabe won his first term through illegal intimidation. He won his 7th term the same way. Raise a glass of beer to the Western diplomats and their great contribution to Rhodesia. Drink one for the Lancaster Agreement, the land seized from farmers and the eternal rule of Mugabe.
Drink well. Because no one in Zimbabwe has 150 billion dollars for a beer.
President Robert Mugabe won a landslide victory in Zimbabwe's disputed election, officials results showed on Saturday, as opponents vowed to challenge the poll which the US said was not "credible".
Mugabe, 89, appeared poised to extend his 33-year rule with a seventh term in office after trouncing his long-standing political rival, Morgan Tsvangirai, in Wednesday's election.
But 61-year-old Tsvangirai, who has unsuccessfully tried to unseat Mugabe three times, condemned the vote as "fraudulent and stolen".
Tsvangirai vowed to challenge the result in court and said his Movement for Democratic Change (MDC) would boycott government institutions.
"We will not join government," he said. "We will go to court."
"The fraudulent and stolen election has plunged Zimbabwe into a constitutional, political and economic crisis."
He defended the MDC's decision to enter into an uneasy power-sharing government with Mugabe, who has had him arrested, beaten and charged with treason.
"Our participation rescued this country. Schools had closed, hospitals had closed. We were using the Zimbabwe dollar which was worthless, there were no goods in the shops, everyone was desperate," he said.
But furious at the alleged scale of rigging this time round, Tsvangirai said the days of cohabitation were over.
Even before the official election results, Mugabe followers were planning how to use a parliamentary majority.
"The new constitution will need cleaning up," said justice minister Patrick Chinamasa, referring to a text overwhelmingly approved in March that introduced term limits and curbed presidential powers.
Chinamasa said Mugabe's government would also press on with controversial efforts to bring firms under black ownership.
Put a Communist-backed terrorist in charge of a country. And this is what you get.
British foreign secretary William Hague added his own "grave concerns" over the conduct of the vote in the former colony.
You broke it. You bought it.