Michelle Obama's "Let's Move" Stamps Destroyed for Pic of Unsafe Headstand w/o Helmet

Unsafe acts on the stamps include a cannonball dive, a girl balancing on a slippery rock and a headstand without a helmet


10 years ago we weren't Sweden. Now we're Sweden.

An educational bureaucracy loses its mind when a child points his finger and says POW! And stamps featuring kids having fun have to be destroyed because they aren't wearing helmets.

With the Just Move! stamp issuance the U.S. Postal Service hoped to raise awareness about the importance of physical activity in achieving a healthy lifestyle. However, according to Linns Stamp News, the USPS will be destroying the entire press run after receiving concerns from the President’s Council on Fitness, Sports & Nutrition over alleged “unsafe” acts depicted on three of the stamps (cannonball dive, skateboarding without kneepads and a headstand without a helmet). (There’s also a batter without a batting helmet, a girl balancing on a slippery rock, and a soccer player without kneepads or shin pads.)

If anyone got their hands on those unsafe stamps, they just became ridiculously valuable. They are probably the first stamps removed for political reasons. And that's in a postal service that gave Stalinist Paul Robeson his own stamp. (Why not Gus Hall?)

The whole point of these stamps was to make having active fun look like fun. Which they do. Remake these pictures so that the kids are wrapped head to toe in safety gear will make them look about as fun as a Michelle Obama TV segment.

So the cannonball dive is off limits. So is a headstand without a helmet.

What kid puts on a helmet to do a headstand? Nothing says fun like telling Timmy, "Go put on your helmet and do a headstand." Instead Timmy guzzles some more Pepsi and begins playing Grand Theft Auto. And Michelle Obama cuts his lunch some more and he skips school lunches and buys pizza instead.

And then he'll go to college where after a decade of being told to wear a helmet to do a headstand, he'll be encouraged to experiment with his sexuality. Because nothing is safer than that.

Mission accomplished.