"I was standing there with Justin Timberlake, Samuel Jackson and Pharrell Williams, just the four of us, eating burgers and talking gun control."
With rumors growing that CNN is prepared to dump the disgraced former Daily Mirror editor over poor performance, Piers Morgan appears to be prepping for a transition back to work in the UK.
Key to making that transition is convincing people in the UK that he's a success in the US, rather than a failure known only for his one-note rants about gun control. And the Guardian and a friendly pal of his are perfect for rolling out the new "successful" Piers Morgan.
The quotes from the interview are every bit as ridiculous as you would expect...
"Morgan has always been hugely ambitious. He thinks this is why he's more easily accepted in America than Britain, where self-belief tends to be frowned on."
Who exactly accepts Morgan? He's another parasite celebrity hanger-on in the US the way that he was in the UK, doing his thing on a sinking news network that's last in the game.
If anything, he was probably more liked in the UK than he is here where he tried building a rep around gun control.
"The film-maker Michael Moore, who wrote the foreword to his new book, describes Morgan as the "clearest, most passionate voice" against gun violence; but his critics have labelled him a "ratings whore".
Morgan is about the only voice, because he was the only one clueless enough to latch on to a doomed cause. And why did that happen? Why do you think?
Piers Morgan is a hopelessly shallow creature incapable of a single original thought. If he does something, it's because the telly told him to do it.
So it was nothing to do with positioning himself on television? He says the two are connected. "It goes back to the need for a clear voice. Watching the first episode of Aaron Sorkin's The Newsroom was the trigger point. Jeff Daniels' character is bored in his job, ticking time, hasn't got a clear voice, then he suddenly explodes about the state of America, and it transforms his show. I said to my producer it was really interesting because you can see the awakening of a passion and a voice. It made me think: what do I feel really strongly about, and it was guns."
So Piers Morgan decided to rant about guns because he saw a fictional HBO tv show in which the news guy began ranting about things. And he thought that would work.
It just goes to show that Piers Morgan lives in a media bubble with little contact with reality. It's what made his ankle-biting attacks on America so laughable.
But look, now he gets to talk to famous people about how bad guns are.
"This is shameless name-dropping, but I always think why not if you're in this position. I was standing there with Justin Timberlake, Samuel Jackson and Pharrell Williams, just the four of us, eating burgers and talking gun control."
That's Piers Morgan. Incredibly successful Yank who eat burgers and talks gun control with Yank celebs all the time. He loves it here in Yankland where everyone is fat and brandishes guns, but if someone would care to extend a good offer to him... he might somehow force himself to move back to the UK.
He wouldn't want to do it of course. The money would have to be really good. And he would need creative control. And the offer would have to come in before CNN security escorts him out of the building with a worn shoebox of self-autographed photos clutched in his chubby little paws.