You May Already Be an ObamaCare Enrollee

Have you ever been online? You're an enrollee. Yes, it's that easy.

That umbrella has already enrolled in ObamaCare That umbrella has already enrolled in ObamaCare

Good news, you may already be an ObamaCare enrollee. The number of people who have actually bought an ObamaCare plan is slightly lower than the number of people who voted for the Communist Party candidate for president.

(The Communist Party endorsed Obama. But the Socialist Workers Party, Socialist Equality Party, Socialist Party USA, Green Party and Party of Socialism and Liberation all ran candidates. 3 out of 5 of them were even black. And they performed about as well as ObamaCare.)

But Obama has an answer. He's just going to expand the narrow-minded definition of enrolled beyond its parochial confines.

When the Obama administration releases health law enrollment figures later this week, though, it will use a more expansive definition. It will count people who have purchased a plan as well as those who have a plan sitting in their online shopping cart but have not yet paid.

Why should "enrolled" be limited to someone who bought health insurance? Why not include people who tried to buy health insurance or people who might one day buy it?

I have a former scrapped aircraft carrier sitting in my eBay shopping cart. I haven't found the 2 billion dollars to pay for it yet, but it still counts.

Have you ever visited It doesn't even exist. That's a trick question. But you're still an enrollee.

Did you have a nightmare in which you were chased down a long hallway by the disembodied head of Kathleen Sebelius screaming about how hard it is to code a website?

You're an enrollee?

Have you ever been online? You're an enrollee. Yes, it's that easy.

We have a living constitution under our liberal judges in which the meaning of "is" is constantly being expanded. Why should ObamaCare, a program that was built on lies from the very beginning, not have an equally elastic relationship with the truth?

If your like your health plan, you're already an enrollee. (No you won't get to keep it.)

Have you been in the United States at any point in the last 40 years? Can you name a state capital? Do you know what a state capital is? Are you operating heavy machinery under the influence of illegal narcotics?

Congratulations. You're an ObamaCare enrollee.

ObamaCare. 6 billion served.

Now it's time to cut down that number with some death panels..