"John Kerry is just naturally attracted to lying down in the laps of terrorists."
Kerry spokeswoman Jen Psaki, who has frequently taken issue with negative references by Israeli political figures to Secretary of State John Kerry denounced another claim from an Israeli political commentator that the respected diplomat was a "lapdog of the Arabs."
"I would just like to point out that it is completely false that the Secretary is a lapdog of the Arabs," Psaki said. "That's just the kind of extremist political rhetoric that we have come to expect from the Israeli far right which spends all of its time building settlements in the oldest city in the world instead of surrendering to terrorists like they should."
"John doesn't even care about Arabs unless they're Muslims. He certainly won't be curling up in the laps of any Arab Christians. And Muslims are opposed to lapdogs for religious reasons as John found out when he tried to curl up in the lap of the Saudi monarch."
"Furthermore, it's simplistic to reduce the career of a capable public servant and longtime senator to being a 'lapdog for the Arabs' when the Secretary has also been a lapdog for the Viet Cong, the Sandinistas, the Iranians and really anyone who would have him."
"John Kerry is just naturally attracted to lying down in the laps of terrorists, Communists and any totalitarian movement while making a low purring sound."
"If you're a tyrant, John Kerry will come down and lie in your lap if you want him to. And if you don't, he'll wait outside your country, occasionally scratching at the door while making a high whining noise."
It's just who he is."
While the preceding events did not actually take place, it was only because of the consistent refusal of Ms. Psaki to accurately and honestly comment on the Secretary of State's attitude and behavior.