Kerry Looking for Gay Ambassadors to Give Obama Money

Secretary of State John Kerry will tackle Al Qaeda appointing gay ambassadors to Asian countries.


Secretary of State John Kerry, America's greatest diplomat since Kendall Myers, has announced a plan to tackle Al Qaeda in Iraq by appointing gay ambassadors to Asian countries.

As long as those gay ambassadors give Obama money first. Ted Osius of the State Department gave Obama money. Now he's the Ambassador to Vietnam.

If he had given more money, he might have actually gotten France or the UK, but old Ted cheaped out. This is what happens when you cheap out, you end up in Vietnam.

Still he's gay, so Kerry will count coup on that while Al Qaeda counts human heads.

During his speech, Kerry said that, if confirmed, Ted Osius (nominated by President Obama for the post in Vietnam) would be the sixth openly gay U.S. ambassador currently in service:

So I am very proud of the progress that we are now making even in appointing LGBT ambassadors. I worked with the committee here at the State Department – with the D Committee, and I worked with the White House. And as a result, Ted Osius, sitting here, whom I’ve known a long time, and his family I know, will be the first openly LGBT officer nominated to serve as an ambassador in Asia. And on confirmation, he’s going to join five openly gay ambassadors who are now serving their country. I’m working hard to ensure that by the end of my tenure, we will have lesbian, bisexual, and transgender ambassadors in our ranks as well.

Let's not forget the asexual, metrosexual and bisexual ambassadors. Al Qaeda will want a large diverse selection of ambassadors to kidnap, kill, behead, blow up or smother to death in a fire.