Mugged Liberal: "We Should Get Comfortable with Sporadic Muggings"

They say a conservative is a liberal who was mugged. But that doesn't always work.


They say a conservative is a liberal who was mugged. But that doesn't always work.

Oliver Friedfeld was mugged. The only thing it convinced him of was that he deserved to be mugged. And who can argue with his airtight case.

“Not once did I consider our attackers to be ‘bad people.’ I trust that they weren’t trying to hurt me. In fact, if they knew me, I bet they’d think I was okay,” wrote Friedfeld in an editorial featured in The Hoya, the university’s newspaper.

Sure they would, the white liberal fantasizes. They would issue him his own hood pass. If only they knew how into social justice he was.

“Who am I to stand from my perch of privilege, surrounded by million-dollar homes and paying for a $60,000 education, to condemn these young men as ‘thugs?’” asks Friedfeld. “It’s precisely this kind of ‘otherization’ that fuels the problem.”

That and liberals who justify muggers because they view them as noble savage others, instead of criminals.

But who indeed is Oliver to condemn muggers for mugging when he was just mugged by Georgetown for his overpriced degree. Muggers are a lot like colleges. They just work for less.

“The millennial generation is taking over the reins of the world, and thus we are presented with a wonderful opportunity to right some of the wrongs of the past,” writes Friedfeld. “Until we do so, we should get comfortable with sporadic muggings and break-ins. I can hardly blame them. The cards are all in our hands, and we’re not playing them.”

Until that time machine is invented, we should all lie back and think of white privilege.