Move over, Eric Swalwell, Florida’s Democrat gubernatorial candidate is even edgier. Just don’t expect the media to mention he’s a Democrat.

A man running for governor in Florida was arrested after deputies said he attacked two elderly people inside a home during a domestic disturbance in Palm Coast, according to the Flagler County Sheriff’s Office.

According to the FCSO, deputies responded to a home on Cleveland Court the morning of April 10 after receiving a report that a man, later identified as Kevin Cichowski, of Palm Coast, had battered two elderly people inside the home – hitting one with a cane and throwing a cellphone at the other – and allegedly had a gun.

The 911 caller, who was one of the victims, told first responders that Cichowski had threatened to kill them multiple times, and said he would kill law enforcement if they were called, according to the sheriff’s office.

When deputies arrived at the scene, they said they located the two victims hiding in a bedroom and said they were unable to leave because one of them was bedridden, according to deputies.

The people he assaulted were apparently his parents.

… if only there had been some kind of warning.

Deputies said that Cichowski was previously arrested in 2024 for domestic battery, domestic bettery by strangulation and false imprisonment.

Cichowski’s campaign platform involves affordable housing, by which he means building nuclear plants, and some sort of universal basic income program. I’ll let him explain.

I envision a unique job class,  that offers state jobs for 1-2 years. Instead of receiving a weekly paycheck, the Florida governor could implement a system where the state pays most of the annual salary in one substantial check at the end of the year.

Also ‘ghost jobs’. And creative punctuation.

“Explore kevin’s ideas and concepts, from housing affordability, to ghost jobs, Education.”

If he can just run on a joint ticket with James Fishback, I see real potential here for a prison or asylum sitcom.