The Democrat may no longer believe in God, the Constitution or even motherhood and apple pie, but he devoutly believes that somewhere out there Republicans are sitting in a sealed room and plotting to bring back the 50s.
And if not the 50s, then at least the early 60s.
The left accuses the right of being deeply paranoid. Meanwhile the left is convinced that every Republican sneeze is a racial putdown of America's first black president since Bill Clinton.
Forget about looking for Communists under every bed. The proper progressive never lies down with his or her partner of choice and their government mandated birth control from the Catholic institution with no choice in the matter without first checking their privilege and checking for conservative bigotry.
Sometimes, somewhere in Kentucky or Alaska, a minor Republican functionary forwards an email depicting ObamaCare as the work of a voodoo witch doctor and the first lefty to discover it dines out on that triumphant accomplishment for a year before writing a book about it. The rest of the time, the McCarthyists of the left have to work to unpack the subtext of a random remark.
When Mitch McConnell complained that Obama plays too much golf, MSNBC's chief late night lunatic, Lawrence O'Donnell, barked that “Well, we know exactly what he’s trying to do there. He is trying to align to Tiger Woods and surely, the lifestyle of Tiger Woods with Barack Obama.”
The Calibnasian Woods didn't actually identify as black, but that was probably because of the way Republican racism stigmatizes black people. Will the right-wing bigotry never stop?
The reinvented Democratic Party runs entirely on conspiracy theories about Republican bigotry. It complains that Republicans secretly believe that they're a Communist conspiracy to destroy America, while their entire platform is an accusation that the Republican Party is a secret conspiracy to enslave black people.
Or as the famous admirer of articulate, bright and clean-looking African-Americans, Joe Biden said, "He is going to put y'all back in chains."
The chains would be redundant considering that he and his boss have run up the national debt to $17.6 trillion or a post-racial slavery of $55,234 by every American, regardless of race or creed, owed to China, Japan and the Muslim world.
The Democratic Party runs on racial paranoia, on class paranoia, on gender paranoia; obsessed with portraying the Republican Party as a Nazi cult dedicated to serving Southern racists, the Koch Brothers and Israel.
Conspiracy theories aren't a fringe element in the Democratic Party; they're the entire ticket.
The War on Women, the constant claims of racism (according to ex-MSNBC'er Martin Bashir IRS was the new "N Word") and the invocation of class warfare by wealthy residents of entirely white bedroom communities is a litany of conspiracy theories. The frenzied search for new IRS and Tiger Woods "dog whistles" that prove the Republicans really are out to bring back the 50s is the psychological breakdown of an entire political party taking refuge in political paranoia.
The bible of the left's conspiracy theory is a Lee Atwater interview from 1981 in which he described politics becoming post-racial. Since conspiracy theorists can always locate that one frame that proves that the plane heading for the World Trade Center was a hologram and the magic bullet that shot JFK was really fired by Jackie Kennedy, they carefully excerpted a part of the interview to make it look like Atwater was saying the exact opposite of what he was saying.
The left built up its pyramid of racial paranoia, its obsession with a Republican "Southern Strategy" to prove that the real racists weren't the Democrats who fought for segregation, but the Republicans who fought against it, and its claim that since then the Republicans hid their racism in calls for small government and lower taxes, which, if you own a special Noam Chomsky decoder ring, really means Supermegaracism.
If Republicans are covertly disguising their racism in low taxes and small government, anyone who believes in low taxes and small government is probably a racist. And since Republicans hide their racism in innocuous policies, any conservative policy must be another racist Trojan horse.
Everything is a conspiracy. Everyone is a conspirator. If a Republican supports X, it must be racist. If he says Y, it must be racist.
Understand that and you understand why MSNBC's cast of lunatics insist that IRS is the new N Word and that the Republican Party keeps mentioning Obama's golf game to suggest to its base of racist voters that he's really off having affairs with a string of blonde women.
Progressive racial paranoia makes perfect sense if you assume that your opponents are part of a conspiracy whose defining feature is a paranoid projection of your own racism.
The racial Atwaterization of the Democratic Party, its Northeastern Strategy, is typical of conspiracy theorists, whether it's the Muslim Brotherhood's front groups or the LaRouche zombies, who engage in byzantine conspiracies and vicious underhanded attacks that are justified by their own worldview in which a vast conspiracy is being waged against them.
Think of Hillary Clinton invoking a "vast right wing conspiracy" in public while justifying her husband's adultery as being caused by Republican attacks in private, targeting women who complained about her husband's sexual harassment in private, while claiming to be a role model for women in public.
That gap between ideals and actions, ends and means, is typical of the conspiracy theorist who projects every evil onto a single enemy, an Emmanuel Goldstein or Dick Cheney, and acts out every horrifying power fantasy in order to destroy him without ever acknowledging that he has become the thing he hates the most. He has become, not Dick Cheney, but Dick Cheney as he envisions him, an abuser of the Constitution who uses the IRS as a political weapon, invades countries unilaterally and destroys political enemies with lies, smears and innuendo.
The Dick Cheney of the left's paranoid imagination sits in the White House.
Political paranoids are totalitarians... and totalitarians are political paranoids. The Democratic Party has become both. Its paranoid totalitarianism runs on conspiracy theories that justify its abuses of power. It has accepted the left's classic formula of the conservative political opposition as a reactionary force that is the source of all evils in society.
If the Republican Party and the conservative opposition embody racism so thoroughly and covertly that there is nothing non-racist about them, there is nothing left to do but to destroy them. Having reduced the right to a total evil with no redeeming qualities, destroying them seems benevolent.
The average MSNBC viewer, New York Times reader and progressive suburbanite is not interested in a close look at his political movement. Instead of giving him something to believe in, his party's media outlets give him someone to hate. His political identity is shaped not by what he stands for, unsustainable debt and an incoherent foreign policy of platitudes, but by his resistance to the Tea Party hordes who want to put black people back in chains, put women back in the kitchen and put homophobes back in the CEO’s office at the Mozilla Foundation.
The politics of paranoid hatred is the crutch of mental cripples who protect the source of their dysfunction by projecting it onto phantom enemies. It's Hillary Clinton with her unfaithful husband, her list of enemies and her conviction that the Republicans made him cheat on her multiplied a million times over. It's the frenzied MSNBC talking head who sees the N Word everywhere because it's inside him. It's an Attorney General who pursues racial grudges without ever admitting it while calling the country "a nation of cowards" on race.
The Democratic Party has been contaminated by the madness of the left through its alliance with the left and the entire country is paying the price.
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