Dems Build New Religion Around Mueller Report

Religious people have their holy books. Democrats have the Mueller Report.

And now 20 House Democrats, who haven't been getting enough attention, will launch a frantic effort to spread the word of their prophet, Robert Mueller, far and wide by declaiming from his works and calling on all to hear.

More than 20 House Democrats will stage a marathon public reading of the entire redacted Mueller report beginning Thursday at noon, and likely ending in the early morning hours of Friday.

And they say the Democrats in Congress aren't doing anything.

“We’ve been saying for weeks that if you think there was no obstruction and no collusion, you haven’t read the Mueller report. So the ongoing quest has been, ‘How do we get that story out there while we are waiting for the witnesses to come in?’" said Rep. Mary Gay Scanlon (D-Pa.) who has been organizing the effort since Friday.

It was either this or pile all the Democrats into a phone booth.

Scanlon is the vice chairwoman of the House Judiciary Committee, which has subpoenaed the Department of Justice for the full, unredacted report into Russian interference in the 2016 election and has invited special counsel Robert S. Mueller III to testify by May 23.

The committee has also scheduled a hearing with former White House counsel Donald McGahn for May 21, although his attendance has not been confirmed.

And with that working out so well, she's been reduced to chanting the report while taking a drink each time it mentions collusion only to discover that she'll have to stay stone sober.

The reading of all 448 pages of the report will take an estimated 12 to 14 hours, Scanlon said. Shifts will be divided up among the readers, including Judiciary Committee Chairman Jerrold Nadler (D-N.Y.), who will follow Scanlon as the second reader.

If this doesn't impress the American people, I don't know what will.

When asked if there are fears this will add to criticisms that Democrats are engaging in political theater, Scanlon said, “It’s not a ploy to keep anything going."

Not even Scanlon thinks it will keep anything going.