Gillibrand: I Can Beat Trump Because As A Young Woman Nobody Takes Me Seriously

If one of you is running in the 2020 Dem primaries (and statistically speaking, one of you probably is one of the roughly 2,000,000 candidates competing to lose to Andrew Yang), no matter how badly you're doing, you can take heart that at least you're not Senator Kirsten Gillibrand.

Gillibrand's hopeless and pointless race exists mainly to make other candidates feel better about their failed campaigns. And possibly, if she campaigns vigorously enough, convince Biden to make her his VP nominee so that American can enjoy all the creepy videos of the two of them.

Meanwhile Kirsten is back to complaining that nobody takes her seriously... and that's why she'll win.

"My opponent never took me seriously," she said at a coffee shop in Derry. "Which is why I know I am going to beat Trump, because he is not going to take me seriously."

Gillibrand, in an interview after the event, let out a hearty "yeah" when asked if she felt she was currently being underestimated in the race for the Democratic nomination.

"I think it's just gender bias. I think people are generally biased against women. I think also biased against young women," she said. "There's just bias and it's real and it exists, but you have to overcome it."

They laughed at Einstein. They laughed at Newton. They also laughed at Bozo the Clown.

But since nobody in the 2020 race takes Gillibrand seriously, shouldn't she be beating all of them? Any of them?

Anyway, the country suffers from a severe bias against young women in their fifties. Somehow this doesn't affect Kamala Harris. And Warren even seems to be doing marginally okay. Gillibrand is the only victim. But she has a plan. To win.

She added, buoyantly, "If I'm going to be the candidate of the women's vote, which I fully intend to be, those voters might not come home until October or November or December."

Of 2028.

Gillibrand's sneaky plan to win the election is to wait until all the other candidates die of old age. 

I have no idea why no one takes her seriously.


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