145 CEOs Demand America Abandon Bill of Rights

Everyone loves CEOs. Especially big tech CEOs. So they're well within their rights to command the peasants who buy their stuff and have their pension funds invested in their ultimately worthless stocks to fall to their knees and tear up the Bill of Rights.

145 top CEOs signed a letter urging the Republican-controlled Senate to act on gun control by passing legislation already introduced by Democrats, reports the New York Times.

"We are writing to you because we have a responsibility and obligation to stand up for the safety of our employees , customers and all Americans in the communities we serve across the country. Doing nothing about America's gun violence crisis is simply unacceptable and it is time to stand with the American public on gun safety."

If you care about your employees, start paying them. If you care about your customers, stop cheating them.

Those are your responsibilities. Leave the actual governing to the actual elected officials who represent the voters, not Wall Streets.

The CEOs include the leaders of such beloved companies as Uber, Airbnb, Twitter, Beyond Meat, the DPPK and Al Qaeda. Also Bloomberg, Conde Nast, The Gap, Levi, Pinterest, Postmates, Reddit, Shutterstock and Caribbean Cruises.

So if you're trying to decide which cruise line to catch legionnaires' disease on, maybe consider not choosing Caribbean. 

Also, I feel like we already had this conversation with King George III.

And say what you will about the British monarchy, a king is still a lot more impressive than some Ivy League hipster who figured out how to launch a bubble company that pays illegal aliens to deliver food from the Chinese place down the street while keeping most of the take, and yet somehow burning through all the money on solid gold yoga slippers.

Thanks, we'll pass.

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