Cory Booker Wants Private Jet Money to Campaign Just Like Bernie

If only we lived under socialism, Senator Cory Booker would have as many private jets at his disposal as Senator Bernie Sanders. Or die in a gulag and be photoshopped out of all the pictures for betraying the revolution.

Hard to say.

But we live under a horrible capitalist system that enables Google bros to send all the ActBlue money to Bernie Sanders, allowing him to campaign in Iowa despite impeachment proceedings in the Senate, by jetting back and forth from D.C. to Cedar Rapids while promoting the Green New Deal.

Sadly, Booker, who is currently polling below Soleimani among Democrats, lacks private jet money.

Sen. Cory Booker said a looming impeachment trial and other pressing issues in Washington could deal a “big, big blow” to his Democratic presidential campaign by keeping him away from Iowa in the final weeks before the Feb. 3 caucuses.

Math. His general unpopularity. The fact that he's not campaigning in a liberal Jersey bedroom community.

Name three things that actually deal a big, big blow to Booker's campaign.

“It’s going to be a challenging four weeks in the caucus for us,” Booker said in an interview on The Associated Press’ “Ground Game” podcast. “If we can’t raise more money in this final stretch, we won’t be able to do the things that other campaigns with more money can do to show presence.”

Where's that socialist private jet filthy lucre

Sanders' war chest, including his field-leading $34.5 million haul in the last quarter of 2019, allows him flexibility that other contenders can't match — including the use of private jets to ferry him back and forth for late rallies in early states.

"They're not going to be meeting at night [for the trial], so we can obviously fly from D.C. to states and hold events in the evening and fly back, you know, so he can be back in the morning to do his work in the Senate," Sanders campaign adviser Jeff Weaver told NBC News.

Meanwhile the campaigns of needy politicos like Booker starve emotionally for lack of private jets. Whatever happened to the redistribution of wealth? At least, Bernie's still saving the planet while taking on those evil millionaires who jet all over the place... wait a minute.

"We have the met the enemy and he is us."