NFL to Move National Anthem to 2nd Place

Can't we just begin every NFL game with the ceremonial burning of the American flag followed by three hours of rioting and looting?

NFL to play Black anthem before national anthem - AP

The NFL puts America last. America should reciprocate.

But I see the style guidelines for capitalizing black have kicked in. I look forward to the decapitalization of America, George Washington, and G-d, while lefty culture heroes like MARGARET SANGER or BARACK OBAMA will have their names spelled in all-caps.

“Lift Ev’ry Voice and Sing” will be performed live or played before “The Star-Spangled Banner” prior to each NFL game during Week 1 and the league is considering putting names of victims of police brutality on helmet decals or jersey patches, a person familiar with the discussions told The Associated Press.

What about the victims of crime? Putting their names on would probably count as a hate crime.

But this is the perfect symbol of a dying corrupt organization whose matches will be played with no audiences. Sure, play a national anthem for every race, creed, and sexual orientation. Considering that we're up to 128 in the latter category, it may take a while. And I'm not sure that the Asexuals or the Two-Spirts have selected an anthem yet.

All these anthems may cut into playing time, so the NFL should probably jettison the actual game and just hire a bunch of Colin Kaepernicks to take the knee before filming Nike commercials.

 

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