Hillary Clinton is Sorry You're Too Stupid to Understand Her Lies

"I now disagree with the choice that I made"


"I now disagree with the choice that I made," Hillary Clinton tells America.

What does that even mean? The entire Clinton lexicon is like something taken out of a handbook on avoiding telling police anything that can get you in trouble crossed with a copy of Orwell's 1984.

A normal human being would say, "I regret the choice that I made."

But Hillary talks like a lawyer on trial. She tries to distance herself from her own actions. She doesn't regret, she disagrees with her own choice. One of the personalities in her head takes issue with what the other personality did.

Did Hillary do anything wrong? No. "It wasn't the best choice".

Why? Because it's "confusing to people."

Is Hillary sorry? Yes, she's "'sorry that this has been confusing to people."

Hillary Clinton is sorry that you're too stupid to believe her excuses. And she would have made a different choice if she knew how stupid you were. She disagrees with the choice she made, only because she had not previously imagined just how stupid everyone was.

Now she's sorry... that you're too stupid to understand why a top government official would want to run her own email server with classified information and poor security that she then wiped. She's sorry that you can't understand why her associate is refusing to cooperate with the FBI.

Hillary is sorry. She will take responsibility for how stupid you are and how easily confused you become by FBI investigations of classified documents illegally sent to her private email server.

She would like to pitch this at your stupid level by making more jokes about snapchat and asking if you meant that she wiped her server with a dish towel. Also she would like to have a speech holding Checkers.

Hillary Clinton had no idea of anything involving the private email server that she deliberately set up so her emails would be under her own control. She was too busy saving lives all over the world to understand this email server stuff.

"You know, I was not thinking a lot when I got in. There was so much work to be done. We had so many problems around the world," Clinton said. "I didn't really stop and think what kind of email system will there be?"

Absolutely not. The private email server spontaneously created itself while Hillary Clinton was scooping babies from burning volcanoes before flying away.

So Hillary Clinton made a choice with the private email server... but she wasn't thinking while she made it. She just said, "Forget that whole government email server. Let's set up a private email server to avoid any accountability. It's illegal, but I've got so many problems around the world to solve. And anyway, I don't know anything about wiping servers with dish towels."

Speaking of those problems, Hillary Clinton didn't actually solve any of them.

She added it was a choice that should not raise questions about her judgment.

"I am very confident that by the time this campaign has run its course, people will know that what I've been saying is accurate," Clinton said, adding: "They may disagree, as I now disagree, with the choice that I made. But the facts that I have put forth have remained the same."

Why would an FBI investigation and criminal misuse of classified documents raise questions about her judgment? It's not like she's running for president.

And she will keep giving you facts, like that the email server was set up by rogue operatives in the pay of a vast right wing conspiracy without her knowing anything because she doesn't understand email.