David Blatt is Fascism! Cleveland Cavaliers is Fascism! Israel is Fascism!


Haaretz is Israel's insane left-wing paper. Imagine if the New York Times were run by Michael Moore, Code Pink, the ACLU, a bunch of lawyers for terrorists and a bunch of other guys who refuse to live in America because it's "fascist" and you get some idea of what Haaretz is.

Haaretz is constantly accuses everything and everyone of being "fascist". But this is its best "fascism" article ever and not just because it uses fascism a dozen times in one paragraph. It is the moment when Rogel Alpher tips the left-wing paper tips into a fascist self-parody singularity that it will never escape.

I give you Haaretz's Rogel Alpher on why David Blatt and the Cleveland Cavaliers and Israel and chocolates and weather balloons are all FASCIST.

When seven million Israelis wake up in the middle of the night to watch a basketball game because the head coach is a Jewish Israeli, that’s fascism, not fanaticism.

Doesn't that include around 700,000 Arabs? Are they also Fascists for watching the Cleveland Cavaliers? They must be. (Also 7 million Israelis don't actually do this.)

It’s good that David Blatt was fired as head coach of the Cleveland Cavaliers last week. The symbiotic relationship he had with his fans in Israel was a fascist phenomenon.

Haaretz also thinks that buying donuts is a fascist phenomenon. Turtlenecks are super fascist. And bedtime is totally fascist.

At its center is the total loss of individualism. The individual known as David Blatt had totally lost his existence as an individual.

Is David Blatt aware that he no longer exists as an individual? Or maybe since he's become a fascist phenomenon, he's already aware of all things and all people. Everywhere.

Fascism here requires a person to be first of all a Jew and Israeli, and only afterward a basketball coach or fan.

Pretty sure the fascists weren't big fans of Jews. And isn't being a fan also a "loss of individualism"? Haven't these same whiny leftists endlessly complained that organized sports were fascistic?

The scope and intensity of the admiration for Blatt in Israel is a distinctly fascist phenomenon.

You keep using that word, but I don't think you know what it means.

The axiom is that all Jewish Israelis must, automatically and without question, offer fanatical support of Blatt.

Most Israelis don't actually care about Blatt. Rogel seems much more worked up about him than the 7 million Israelis who don't actually get up in the middle of the night.

Blatt fascistically represents the Jewish-Israeli longing for respect from the world.

Rogel Alpher has figured out that people will notice if he just uses Fascist in every sentence. So he's going to try different things. Like "fascistically" or "fascistism" or "fascistensially". Also he still doesn't know what fascism means.

Every one of his fans has also lost his status as a distinct individual.

Rogel Alpher seems bent on dehumanizing Cavs fans. Isn't that what fascists do? Rogel Alpher must be a fascist who fascistically represents Haaretz's longing to destroy Jews. And also hates basketball in a very fascistic way.

The total devotion to Blatt is a direct and logical necessity stemming from their Jewish-Israeli identity, not from some personal decision-making process.

Isn't being Jewish and living in Israel a personal decision-making process? Do people who convert to Judaism or move to Israel not make a personal decision? By denying their personal agency, Rogel Alpher is showing that he's fascistically being a fascistic fascist.

Blatt became a fascist symbol in a Jewish-Israeli society that’s undergoing a daily process of fascisization.

Oh great, now we have fascisization.

Poor David Blatt is just like Mussolini or Hitler, except he used to coach a basketball team in Cleveland. Now he'll return to Israel, move into a settlement and kill all the Muslims and then lead an army of fans that burns Haaretz to the ground while chanting, "You still don't know what fascism means."

When it comes to Blatt, Jewish Israelis have lost their free choice and free will.

This sounds like a goth kid in high school who is forced to review a football game. Also Rogel has made this same point three times in one paragraph. It's like he's trying out some Big Lie technique here... like the fascistic fascist that he is.

The Sports Channel also backed this agenda as it stood behind Blatt in a manner befitting sports networks in fascist societies.

And when David Blatt becomes the ruler of Israel, everyone will be obligated to watch the Cavs all the time. Even Haaretz readers. Also the Cavaliers will be renamed the Cleveland Fascists.

Let’s hope NBA fans can now enjoy the games on the Sports Channel without the fascist aftertaste that had accompanied them.

And the Sports Channel can hire Rogel Alpher to do sports commentary. "Today the fascists crowded into Madison Square Garden as part of a fascistic ritual known as organized sports under the grip of the fascist NBA. Down with Fascism! Death to America! Death to Israel!"

Fascism is not just racism and occupation. First and foremost, it’s a question of what a person who gets up in the middle of the night to watch a basketball game feels.

We have reached Peak Haaretz. The paper can just close up shop and make this their final issue as an eternal testament to how insane the Israeli left has become. Or it can just run articles that just consist of writing FASCISM over and over again in crayon.

On Facebook, even lefties are ridiculing and mocking this column. Probably because all seven million Israelis are fascists.

Meanwhile here are some other classic Rogel Alpher classics like, "Israel Is My Home, but I Can No Longer Live Here", "Jews of France, There Is Nothing for You in Israel" and "Where are the indictments against those who use poop to oppress?"

What a fascist.