Finally: English Language Declared Racist

There's only so much pussyfooting around you can do by declaring individual words racist. Just go for the whole language.

I was joking when I wrote this.

Congressman Jim Clyburn went even further. "The entire English language was created by slaveowners as a means of oppression. You can't just say that one word is a racist code word or another. The whole language, every single word, letter and apostrophe in it is racist. It's a fact. If you speak English, you're a racist."

Democrats rushed to conduct conference calls over this new development worried about the consequences of continuing to use the racist English language. Some called for staffing the Democratic Party entirely with illiterates, while others argued that such a measure would be entirely redundant. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz was reportedly taking Spanish lessons from Mayor Bloomberg in preparation for the Democratic Party's  shift to conducting all business in broken Spanish.

But with the left, reality quickly outstrips satire.

The chief writing instructor at the University of Washington, Tacoma, is trying to dismantle the rules of grammar because he believes they are racist—and the college has given its endorsement to his campaign.

Posters that appeared this week in the college’s writing center are part of a new effort to teach students that the conventional rules on how to structure sentences and form ideas in written language are perpetuating inequality and “white supremacy.”

“Racism is the normal condition of things. Racism is pervasive. It is in the systems, structures, rules, languages, expectations and guidelines that make up our classes, school, and society,” the poster claims. It goes on to say that critiquing a student’s use of language, or implying that there is any one grammatical standard within the English language, is inherently discriminatory.

The writing center director, Dr. Asao Inoue, is the brains behind the operation to up-end students’ regressive notions of language. He is a “searcher of anti-racist writing assessment,” according to his Twitter profile, and has published two books on how to promote a “socially just future” by dismantling academic structures that reward proper grammar and usage.

So the University of Washington will commit to combating racism by promoting illiteracy. If you can formulate a sentence, check your privilege.

Share