Tom Steyer Opts Out of Dem 2020 Clown Car Primary

In a tragic display of common sense, Tom Steyer, an environmentalist billionaire who had been trying to use impeachment events to make himself a viable candidate for the White House, has announced that he won't be humiliatingly losing to Hillary Clinton write-in votes.

Tom Steyer, the billionaire philanthropist known for his campaign to impeach President Trump, ruled out a bid for the White House on Wednesday, putting to rest months of speculation that he could seek the Democratic nomination in 2020.

Steyer is set to announce his decision, which was confirmed to The Hill by one of his advisers, during a trip to Iowa on Wednesday. The New York Times, which obtained a copy of his prepared remarks, first reported the news.

“Most people come to Iowa around this time to announce a campaign for president,” Steyer said in the prepared remarks, according to the Times. “But I am proud to be here to announce that I will do whatever it takes, for as long as it takes, to remove a president.”

Coups are better than caucuses? 

So the anonymous Linkedin ads don't seem to have turned up anyone willing to help Tom Steyer lose a national election. And that's a shame because he had so much charisma and so many winning issues, like impeaching Trump and making himself president.

Oh well.

Maybe Tom can run for something he's actually qualified for. An MSNBC commentator gig.