And, like every deranged megalomaniac, Jeffy insists on doing it in a Medium post.
But the billionaire who owns the Washington Post and thousands of Amazon workers who are force to pee in bottles, along with New York City and Seattle, decided not to hire someone to write this for him, and so it's a rambling conspiracy-tinged mess.
The summary of it is that the National Enquirer tried to negotiate over publishing his "intimate" photos, but he won't have any of it.
Which is the usual celeb stuff that nobody except the Jerry Springer audience could be paid to care about. But then there's all the Washington Post/Trump/Saudi stuff.
"AMI, the owner of the National Enquirer, led by David Pecker, recently entered into an immunity deal with the Department of Justice related to their role in the so-called “Catch and Kill” process on behalf of President Trump and his election campaign. Mr. Pecker and his company have also been investigated for various actions they’ve taken on behalf of the Saudi Government."
Jeff, whose paper, the Washington Post, was doing the bidding of Qatar by using Jamal Khashoggi as their cutout, keeps bashing the Saudis.
But, oddly enough, since his paper's industry is Russiagate conspiracies, there's no mention of Russia.
It's one thing for Amazon's boss to take shots at the Saudis. His business doesn't depend on them. But he's being more careful about tweaking the Russians.
Anyway, the goal is to shift attention from Bezos' infidelities to conspiracy theories about Trump, Russia, the National Enquirer and Bigfoot that make him seem like a victim, instead of a creep.
But the only thing Bezos is doing is reminding everyone of Anthony Weiner.