Yesterday’s satire is today’s headline. I used to make jokes about allying with moderate Al Qaeda to fight extremist Al Qaeda. Now it’s literally happening.

Tom Barrack, Turkey’s envoy to America, who misleadingly functions as America’s envoy to Turkey and its occupied territories, which these days includes Syria, has announced that its terrorist Al-Qaeda regime led by Al-Jolani (the terrorist leader currently wearing a suit and going by a different name, who used to have a $10 million reward on his head from us due to the whole Al Qaeda thing) will join the anti-ISIS coalition.

Barrack is working, on behalf of Turkey, currently a state sponsor of Islamic terror, to get Congress to drop sanctions on Syria so that the Islamic terrorist group running the place can join the coalition against Islamic terrorism.

“We are trying to get everybody to be a partner in this alliance, which is huge for them,” Barrack, a major Lebanese Arab donor and Jeffrey Epstein associate (Epstein reportedly gifted Barrack an $11,000 watch)  who had previously been in court for acting as an unregistered foreign agent of a Muslim oil country (he was acquitted), claimed.

There’s a minor little problem here in that Al-Jolani and his terror group, which is now the Syrian ‘government’, were allied with ISIS until the various internal politics led them closer to Al Qaeda. ISIS was originally Al Qaeda in Iraq, a murderous terrorist group that couldn’t decide if it wanted to kill U.S. soldiers or Shiites more, leading it to split with Osama bin Laden who objected to killing other Muslims (he was obviously a fan of killing American soldiers.)

So the good news here is that we’re allying with moderate ISIS to fight extremist ISIS.

Moderate ISIS represents the true moderate spirit of Islam in that it only wants to kill non-Muslims while extremist ISIS wants to also kill Shiite Muslims.

We must fight to help moderate ISIS to uphold the traditional values of killing non-Muslims against the extremism of killing Muslims who differ on which Caliph should have taken over a thousand years ago.

Unless… there emerges an ‘extremist extremist ISIS’ which also seeks to kill many Sunni Muslims.

In which case we will have to ally with ‘extremist ISIS’ which (if the historical track record holds will by then control several countries and parts of New York City, Minneapolis and Michigan) against ‘extremist extremist ISIS’ to uphold the truly moderate extremist values of moderate Islamic extremism.

We have to ally with moderate Islamic extremists to stop immoderate Islamic extremists to truly reform Islam. Or get ourselves blown up.

Probably the latter.

On a related note… America is Spreading ISIS Around the World

Even while one arm of the Trump administration is trying to deport Islamic terrorists and their supporters, another is trying to import them into our communities and around the world.

While ISIS is rebounding in Syria, carrying out 117 attacks, the United States has adopted the position that the tens of thousands of ISIS ‘detainees’ left over from the previous defeat of the Jihadist group have to be distributed around the region and the world including to the U.S.

Hopefully they’re moderate ISIS though.

Bonus: for a blast from the Obama past, there’s the brilliant Latma segment on Islamic ‘extremism’. Sorry it’s in subtitles only.