Senator Bernie Sanders (S-VT) has dropped out of the Democrat race on account of such factors as his inability to win, campaign and continued primary elections being hazardous to human life.

Sanders delayed this move for as long as possible until some of his advisors informed him continuing to run would put his ability to nail a fourth home in jeopardy. This report comes from the same anonymous sources that the New York Times, the Washington Post, and Gabriel Sherman use to make up all their stories about President Trump. So it can only be described as the height of journalistic integrity.

Also, Sanders reportedly plans to teach Cuban literacy. Not in Cuba, where the child prostitutes of the Communist regime catering to Bernie Bros tourism often can’t read or write, but in the United States, where Sanders will dedicate his life to arguing that improved fake literacy statistics are a small price to pay for killing a whole bunch of people.

Basta!

More seriously, Sanders needs a career comedown after this. Even a broken clock is right twice a day, and no one in the Senate likes Sanders, not even Warren. His fanbase was based on the delusional belief that a senile socialist not named Biden could get the nomination. After his break with AOC, Sanders can’t even stick around to set up her presidential campaign.