After being left in the dust by Pete Buttigieg, mayor of one of the most dangerous places in Indiana, Bobby O’Rouke only had two options, turn gay or announce his own version of the Green New Deal.

Considering his father-in-law is a billionaire, he wisely chose the latter.

And no plan to wreck the economy, make everyone miserable and starve millions of people would be complete without a fake countdown clock.

Democratic presidential candidate Beto O’Rourke sounded the alarms on Monday, saying that civilization has only “ten years” left on Earth if no action is taken on climate change.

The former Texas congressman unveiled the first major policy proposal of his candidacy, which is a climate change initiative that would cost $5 trillion in over 10 years in hopes of reaching zero carbon emissions by 2050.

I want to make sure those who work in the oil and gas industry, those who work in the fossil fuel industry are brought along as partners to make sure that we make this transition in the ten years we have left to us as the science and scientists tell us to make the kind of bold change that we need,” the former congressman continued.

I liked these types of people better when they were committing suicide while trying to catch a comet.

But Bobby began his campaign by predicting the end of the world. How soon until he’s wearing a sandwich board and warning that those infidels who don’t donate to his campaign won’t be allowed to board the comet.

“This is our final chance,” Robert Francis ‘Beto’ O’Rourke warned while gesticulating wildly in a hipster Iowa coffee shop. “The scientists are unanimous that we have no more than 12 years.”

That was in March 2019. How, a month later, did we lose 2 years?

The scientists are unanimous. The planet isn’t going anywhere.

But every time Beto’s poll numbers drop, he takes 2 years off the projected destruction of the planet.