Incredible news! After a record run of hits like convincing two senators from his own party to pass a watered-down version of his bill after months of pleading, abusing a law meant for veterans to give away a trillion dollars to Harvard and Yale grads, and sending the FBI to raid his political opponent, Biden is on a winning streak.

Over half of Democratic voters in a new poll said President Biden should not run for a second term in 2024.

A USA Today-Ipsos poll found that 56 percent of Democratic voters are against a reelection bid from their party leader,

That’s right. Only 56%. That’s down from 75% of Democrats who didn’t want Biden to run in this CNN poll just last month. Bring out your Dark Brandon memes because in the wake of his amazing performance of staying away for four hours straight and showing up to work for three days straight, only a majority of his party wishes he would stay in his Delaware basement and not come out again.

He just can’t stop winning!

if Biden keeps this up, he might actually win over a majority of his party. And after that? The sky’s the limit. All he needs to do is mint a trillion dollar coin and use some obscure federal statute meant to control wild geese populations or provide aid in the aftermath of the Irish Potato Famine to declare that Washington D.C., Puerto Rico and CHAZ are states. 

The future is bright. It’s been weeks since he’s fallen off a bike. Weeks since he accidentally declared war on China before begging them to make up again and keep sending his idiot son more crack. He’s winning over thousands of CNN viewers. He’s making inroads with New York Times readers. 

When a president can reduce the opposition in his own party to only 56%, there’s nothing he can’t do.