From my article last year, The CDC was Fighting Racism and Obesity Instead of Stopping Epidemics.
The Centers for Disease Control has a $6.6 billion budget and one job which it messes up every time.
Where do those billions for the CDC actually go? Among other things, pushing gun control. The terrible budget deal from December allocated $25 million to the CDC and NIH to study gun violence.
During the Ebola crisis, the CDC had been spending a mere $2.6 million on gun violence studies. But the CDC has a history of wasting money on everything from a $106 million visitor’s center with Japanese gardens, a $200K gym, a transgender beauty pageant, not to mention promoting bike paths.
The CDC’s fight against the “obesity epidemic” is even sillier. That includes funding 15 colleges to “work with community extension services to increase access to healthier foods and safe and accessible places for physical activity.” That meant giving LSU over a million bucks to work with farmers’ markets.
The CDC would now like to take 5 minutes of your time to remind you that it’s still useless.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) is now hoping to get you as prepared as possible just in case flesh-eating zombies become our number one enemy this year.
The CDC says you should prepare for a zombie takeover the same way you would any natural disaster.
“There are all kinds of emergencies out there that we can prepare for. Take a zombie apocalypse for example,” according to a CDC blog post. “You may laugh now, but when it happens you’ll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you’ll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency.”
If zombies did start roaming the streets, the CDC says they are ready to respond with technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation.
Considering the CDC’s track record, the zombie outbreak would start in its headquarters, and its assistance would involve telling everyone that fighting the zombies is bigoted.
Now, this sort of nonsense is one thing when there isn’t a relevant emergency for the CDC to handle, but it’s incredibly tone-deaf during a major crisis that the CDC has already botched. It’s the equivalent of NORAD tracking Santa in the middle of having accidentally started WWIII. Not the right time.
The CDC has one job which it seems incapable of doing. Because of that a whole lot of people are out of work, while government employees get to giggle about zombies.
The real zombies are all in D.C. And they can’t be fired. That’s why they’re zombies.
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