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Who will be the Democrat Party’s candidate for president in 2028? The roster of available and likely candidates at this point must be making James Carville mutter bitterly into his mint julep and long for the days when “bimbo eruptions” were all he had to worry about. Literally anything can happen before the Dems actually have to choose the next front man/woman/other for socialism, authoritarianism, internationalism, crime, open borders, and galloping inflation, so any assessment at this point is necessarily tentative, but it’s never really too early to start laying the groundwork for the next large-scale attempt to hoodwink the American people into voting for their own destruction.

The Hill surveyed the field on Friday, profiling the likeliest candidates, and oddly enough, didn’t conclude with an offer to its leftist readers for discount Prozac. The author, Amie Parnes, lists as the likeliest candidates Kamala Harris, Gavin Newsom, Gretchen Whitmer,

Josh Shapiro, Pete Buttigieg, JB Pritzker, and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Yeah, I know: we need The Hill to tell us this? But also, Peggy Lee summed up the 2028 Dem front runners long ago, when she sang “Is That All There Is?”

Yes, Peggy, that’s pretty much all there is, although Parnes does hold out the possibility of another strong candidate, or more precisely, yet another revoltingly weak far-left candidate, emerging at the front of the pack. She suggests that this could be anyone from “Sen. Raphael Warnock of Georgia to Govs. Wes Moore of Maryland, Andy Beshear of Kentucky and Phil Murphy of New Jersey.”

Egad. No wonder “one Democratic strategist” whom Parnes quotes says: “Just like in 2016, we’re a little lost and rudderless, and not quite sure what we want going forward.” Well, yes and no. Lost and rudderless, sure. But it’s quite clear from each and every name touted for 2028 that the Democrats are quite clear about one thing they want for 2028: more of the same.

The party of Jackson, Truman, and JFK has gone all-in on America-Last internationalism, contempt for ordinary people, the fetishization of deviance and fantasy, and the forcible impoverishment of American citizens through inflation and mass migration, and there’s no turning back now. Not a single Democrat hopeful for 2028 at this point is articulating any pathway back to sanity, patriotism, or sound economic and immigration policies. And so while a slim majority of Americans may have chosen not to commit national suicide in 2024, the Dems can always hope they’ll vote for a civilizational slashing of the wrists in 2028.

And so who will be the spokesperson for the Dems’ 2028 brand of hemlock, which they’ll insist is so much tastier and less filling than their unsuccessful 2024 brand? Kamala wants another shot at the brass ring, and Parnes says that “Democrats have not been putting the blame on Harris for their defeat, at least for the most part. It is President Biden, who dropped out of the race in July and endorsed his vice president, who has received the lion’s share of criticism.” Well, yeah, but Old Joe is catching heat for endorsing Kamala when the Dem kingmakers knew she was not up to the task. That’s not exactly the most ringing endorsement for the second female presidential candidate to lose to Donald Trump.

Nevertheless, when one looks at the rest of the top contenders, Harris doesn’t look so bad at that. Next on Parnes’ list are Gruesome Newsom, the destroyer of California, and Wretched Whitmer, the destroyer of Michigan. Will Attila the Hun not be running? These two may play well to the Democrats’ far-left base, but in 2028, all their Republican opponent would need to do would be to start quoting the statistics about people fleeing their states to escape skyrocketing taxes, insane regulations, and all the rest, and the game would be over.

Josh Shapiro? Come on, man! Harris pandered shamelessly during the 2024 campaign to the Democrats’ far-left base, which is increasingly not just anti-Israel, but openly antisemitic. The Democrats couldn’t nominate Shapiro and keep Ilhan Omar, Rashida Tlaib, and their friends and followers in the party, and without them, the party of FDR’s fortunes look even bleaker. Then Parnes names Pete Buttigieg, who has being gay going for him, as the Democrats’ never-ending love affair with identity politics will no doubt still be blazing hot and heavy in 2028. Some, however, might remember Pete’s less-than-stellar turn as DEI Transportation secretary, and that would be that. Or should be.

JB Pritzker suffers from the same drawback as Newsom and Whitmer, so that leaves… AOC. According to Parnes, “Democrats have long been impressed with Ocasio-Cortez’s ability to ‘cut through the BS and tell it like it is,’ the second Democratic strategist said. ‘She’s somebody who can cut through the noise and doesn’t talk like Washington.’” She also mobilizes the party’s far-left base, while recently making some moves away from that base’s more spectacularly insane edge.

Could the Democrats’ most viable and most sensible 2028 nominee turn out to be the nation’s most notorious ex-bartender? Stranger things have happened.