Life not only outdoes satire, but South Park. Or maybe Communist China decided to steal plot ideas from South Park and implement them.

Really, this story has everything. 

Woke corporations kowtowing to Communist tyranny and the media hailing China for leading the way on coronavirus repression. Along with a cast of Disney and Marvel characters wandering around in smelly suits to intimidate the masses. After this, we don’t need satire. 

Thousands were gathered Sunday for Shanghai Disneyland’s Halloween party when suddenly the gates closed and health-care workers fully dressed in white protective suits descended on the site. It was like a scene out of a scary movie, but these people weren’t in costume.
The site had been ordered to shutter its doors after a woman who visited Disneyland over the weekend tested positive Sunday for the coronavirus, according to Chinese media. 

Since this is the Washington Post, the rest of the story is Communist regime propaganda about how happy everyone was to be locked up in the Disney Gulgag. Come on, man, as Joe Biden would say, Amazon’s business is even more dependent on China than Disney.

On Sunday, Shanghai Disneyland, a theme park partially owned by entertainment giant Disney, promised customers that they were in for “wicked Halloween surprises.” Safe to say that no one expected the biggest shock of the day to be medical staff in hazmat suits conducting mass tests for COVID-19, with tens of thousands of visitors being unable to leave.

In China, a Halloween surprise is being in the scary movie.

The partial closing of the park created bizarre scenes that went viral on Chinese social media. Hundreds of people in full medical hazmat suits were seen testing young children and other park-goers as a Disney-themed fireworks display erupted overhead.

It’s the unhappiest place on earth!

China’s official English language media outlet, China Daily, sought to put a positive spin on events by cheerfully describing the scene on Twitter as comprising “Nucleic acid tests under the fireworks!”

Communist regime or evil woke Hollywood studio. “The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.”