Senator Elizabeth Warren, an extremely unpleasant human being who decided that an entire nation would want her shrieking insane plans at them for eight years, is suspending her presidential campaign to focus on shrieking at her family, D.C., and Massachusets. 

Though considering how poorly she polls in MA, she may end up having to shriek at just her family.

Unless she gets her old six-figure faculty job back and will then make her students miserable.

Warren had a plan for everything. She didn’t have a plan for the entire political spectrum of the country rejecting her. But maybe she can go back to her academic reservation now. Unlike the rest of the country, academia can go on believing a blond white woman is Cherokee.

And maybe she can find a hearty recipe in her Pow Wow Chow cookbook to cook and make her feel better about her defeat.