“Forget it, Jake, it’s D.C.-town.”

Muriel E. Bowser (D), the pragmatic politician who has led the District for eight years, won the Democratic mayoral nomination Tuesday, according to projections from the Associated Press, beating out two left-leaning members of the council on her path to becoming just the second three-term mayor in D.C.’s history.

D.C. politics is so bad that the hypocritical racist was the lesser of evils in this race.

“Today, I stand in the footsteps of Marion Barry,” Bowser said at an election night celebration, referring to D.C.’s fabled “mayor for life,” who served four terms. “Tonight, we choose a future that represents our D.C. values.”

Those values being those of Marion Barry, which is why D.C. has a spectacular crime rate. But if Bowser is going to walk in the footsteps of Marion Barry, when does the crack and when do the hookers show up?

Bowser, 49, fended off challenges from council members Robert C. White Jr. (At Large) and Trayon White Sr. (Ward 8), who sought to persuade voters that the District needs someone new at the helm to bridge divides in equity

Trayvon, a lefty, was most famous for claiming that Jews control the weather and donated to the Nation of Islam. Robert C. White Jr. was basically endorsed by every lefty organization around.

In a concession speech Tuesday night, Robert White, who was widely viewed as the most viable of Bowser’s three opponents, delivered an impassioned concession speech to a crowded hall of supporters. He congratulated Bowser and said he would continue to work with her as a council member.

White did not rule out another run for mayor in the future.

“I say keep hoping. For the folks who know me, y’all know this ain’t the first time I’ve fallen down,” Robert White said, appearing to reference his failed 2014 bid for an at-large seat on the D.C. Council. “I ain’t never stay down.”

I ain’t gonna learn to speak no English neither. But that’s what life is like outside the Imperial City where the rest of D.C. is just Baltimore.