It really shouldn’t come as any surprise in a world in which men not only become women, but become the first female admirals and champion female swimmers, but it is just another step down the road of discarding our humanity altogether and becoming artificial beings of our own design, with consequences no one can foresee. Short men are now getting their legs artificially lengthened so that they magically grow several inches taller and get all the girls who didn’t look at them until they had to look up to them. GQ ran a lavish 4,500-word piece on this nauseating phenomenon Thursday. My PJM colleague Jeff Reynolds alerted me to the fact that so did South Park, a couple of years ago. Reality has become an absurdist satirical cartoon.
The GQ article is full of short guys who have internalized Randy Newman’s infamous dictum that “short people got no reason to live,” and have suffered for their lack of stature. One guy “never really thought of himself as short until a girl he had ‘a super big crush on, like, roasted me for it’ in college.” That incident led to “a deep insecurity that ultimately prompted him to get his femurs done in February. Now, after spending the last three months alone in his apartment eating delivery food, he’s five nine,” three inches taller than he was in May.
Another newly tall man is, GQ tells us, “something of a player.” However, “he always thought that his batting average with women could be better,” and now, three inches taller than he used to be, he thinks he be more appealing to the babes, who presumably will not notice that his new height is all in his legs, which are freakishly long compared to his torso and arms.
A third guy appears to have gotten the surgery because he was ignored when trying to order a drink. “I’d go to a bar and literally try to order a drink. Some freaking goon, standing a head taller than me, comes over behind me. And the bartender looks up to him, like, ‘What can I get you?’ I’m like, ‘Motherf***er, I’m right here!’”
The surgery involves (and here’s the nauseating part) getting one’s legs broken and artificially lengthened with instruments that hold the broken pieces apart for months so that the bone grows longer. Some of those who get it are piling fantasy upon fantasy: they’re “trans men, who often just want that extra stature to feel more like themselves.” Another tall fellow summed up the guiding reasoning behind why everyone gets this surgery: “I noticed that taller people just seem to have it easier. The world seems to bend for them.”
And so now this man walks “with a pronounced limp, wincing as he throws his hips into wide semicircles and dragging his feet exactly where they need to be.” But hey, it’s the price of having it easier.
This is the malady of our age: everyone else has it easier. Men become women because they think women have it easier. Women become men because they think men have it easier. Critical race theory advocates think white people have it easier. Meanwhile, there are many prominent people trying to pass as people of color. There is Hilaria Baldwin, the upper-class Bostonian who pretended to be Spanish for a decade. The white Jewish professor Jessica Krug passed as black for years. So did Rachel Dolezal, the former NAACP official who famously turned out not to be a CP at all. Still at it is Shaun King, aka Talcum X, who strenuously insists that he isn’t white despite photographic evidence he was a light-haired white child before he was woke. Elizabeth Warren passed as Native American and was even hailed as the first “woman of color” on Harvard’s faculty. Muslim “feminist” activist Linda Sarsour said in a Vox video published in January 2017: “When I wasn’t wearing hijab I was just some ordinary white girl from New York City.” But in an April 2017 interview, the hijabbed Sarsour referred to “people of color like me.”
Why do all these white folks pretend to be “people of color”? Because they also think POCs “have it easier,” and the world certainly does seem to “bend for them.”
It has been forgotten in our insane age, but no one group really has it easier than any other: not tall people, or short people, or white people, or black or brown people or anyone else. We all have our trials and our troubles, in various forms. Young people used to be taught to bear them with patience and equanimity, and to focus on being grateful for what one had instead of being upset because of what one does not have. But that is all passé now, and perfectly healthy men are turning themselves into limping, misshapen monstrosities as a result. But given everything else that is going on these days, perhaps they should be congratulated for their sanity.