The People’s Republic of Madeinchina may have the Coronavirus, but Democratic Socialists can give always give Communists a run for their money with a broken app, complete dysfunction, and conspiracy theories being fired in a circular firing squad.
Imagine if these folks had to deal with a real emergency.
The good news is that there are 3 possibilities
1. Bernie Sanders won the Iowa caucuses
2. Hillary Clinton won the Iowa caucuses
3. The Iowa caucuses never existed. Anyone who claims otherwise will be gulaged.
Sanders supporters claimed that the failed caucuses were a conspiracy by Biden. But then they had to interrupt those conspiracy theories when Pete Buttigieg, for some inconceivable reason, declared victory, and then he was immediately blamed for the conspiracy. Bernie Sanders gave a pseudo-victory speech in which he declared repeatedly that he had good feelings.
This is the first time Bernie has had good feelings about anything since Pol Pot was executing peasants in Cambodia. So that’s good.
None of the other candidates managed to be quite as awkward.
So the bad news is that Bernie won’t be able to claim victory. But his followers will clamor that they were robbed, which is even better. Sandernistas, like ISIS, don’t look good in victory, but do their best work when they lose, have to climb out of bed to complain about the unfairness of the system.
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