I know whom we really need to hear from on the coronavirus. The genius behind Microsoft Bob.

You remember Microsoft Bob, don’t you? It’s the piece of software that was listed by Time as one of the 50 worst inventions.

Imagine a whole operating system designed around Clippy, and you get the crux of Microsoft Bob. Designed to be an easier interface for Windows 95 users, Bob envisioned your computer as his house — with you as a guest. Ever so accommodating, he’d even supply cartoon sidekicks to guide you through simple tasks. The software was expensive and overly cutesy, and it failed to compete with Apple’s Macintosh, the user-friendly standard. And though Bob is long gone, he left one enduring blight on the Web: Comic Sans, perhaps the worst font of all time, was created exclusively for Bob.

Why would Microsoft have ever made something so terrible?

Well… umm…  Melinda Gates married her future husband and CEO of Microsoft in 1994. Microsoft Bob was released in 1996.

And here’s Mel...

Melinda Gates on Thursday gave the Trump administration low marks for its handling of the coronavirus pandemic, adding that more money is needed for testing and vaccine development in the United States and across the world.

Gates — co-chairman of the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, which has donated billions of dollars to health research — gave the administration a “D-minus” grade for its handling of the outbreak, citing a lack of a coordinated, national response. She said governors were stepping up with “50 different homegrown state solutions,” instead of a national response coming from the top.

“You know, if we were doing the things that the exemplar countries are doing, like Germany, we would be testing,” Gates said during a POLITICO Women Rule interview.

Achtung! We should be more like Germany, say all the nicest people.

Melinda Gates has been listed by a bunch of magazines as one of the most powerful women in the world because she’s married to Bill’s money. She’s the co-chair of a Foundation financed by Bill’s money. Her big accomplishment in life is marrying Bill’s money.

I’m sure she’d be really great at handling a pandemic on her own. If we had to choose between the coronavirus and Microsoft Bob, we’d probably choose Microsoft Bob.

Microsoft Bob killed less people. Probably.