Fall in, Social Justice Warriors. Let’s review.
Truth # 1: In American schools, we must not present Islam in a neutral fashion, as an object of scholarly inquiry; rather, we must unquestioningly promote it to our schoolchildren. Where Christian prayer is discouraged, students must recite the shahada, the Muslim profession of faith. Curricula must shield Islam from the kind of criticism that Christianity receives. After all, the Muslim world stretches 11,000 miles north to south, from Kazakhstan to Mozambique. It stretches 13,000 miles from Senegal in West Africa to Indonesia in East Asia. It is home to 1.6 billion Muslims, great architecture like the Taj Mahal, and three of the world’s tallest buildings. The Muslim world gave us great cultural advances, like algebra and coffee. It includes some of the wealthiest nations; Saudi Arabia takes in a billion dollars a day.
Truth # 1 A: The Muslim world is an uninhabitable wasteland, and housing Muslim migrants is all on you. Start making the beds in the guest bedroom. If you don’t have a guest bedroom, get used to sleeping on the floor.
Truth # 2: Islamic society is based on tolerance, compassion, charity and hospitality. Truth # 2 A: The Muslim world cannot take care of the Muslim migrants, who are their own next-door neighbors, and who are fleeing neighboring countries, with languages, cultures, and foods similar to their own. Any critique of the shining edifice that is Islam constitutes unforgivable racism, highhanded imperialism, xenophobia and arrogance.
Truth # 3: Muslim terrorists are a tiny minority of extremists. The vast majority of Muslims actively oppose war and terror.
Truth # 3 A: ISIS is an unstoppable juggernaut. Millions of able-bodied, military-age Muslim men have no choice whatsoever except to abandon their wives and children, turn tail and flee the field of battle as fast as their feet can carry them and their selfie-sticks can record the trip. It would be in unspeakable bad taste to demand to know why the migrants, who, according to UN statistics, are 75% adult men, are not organizing into effective volunteer battalions to rout ISIS, or even merely forming an underground, comparable to the Polish, French, Russian, Serbian, and other resistance fighters who, young and old, male and female, fought the Nazis from day one. If the 75% male statistic causes problems, we can rejigger it.
Truth # 4: Islam means peace. Muslims emphatically reject terrorism.
Truth # 4 A: If Americans publicly engage in a civil debate as to whether or not the resettlement of Muslims in the US is a good idea, that exercise in free speech, with the irresistible power of a sorcerer’s spell, will drive Muslims, en masse, into the ranks of ISIS and other terror groups.
Truth # 5: If the people will lead, the leaders will follow. The people united will never be defeated. We represent the people, not the powerful.
Truth # 5 A: In a recent poll, 54% of Americans opposed acceptance of more refugees. The people’s wishes must be countermanded by the vanguard. We, the social justice warrior elite, must re-educate reactionary elements who oppose migration, demonize those who won’t be educated, and overrule any elements who stand in our way.
Truth # 6: Jingoism, flag waving, nostrums like “God bless America” and all other nationalist icons must be consigned to the dustbin in our new, multicultural era. They are shibboleths of a more primitive and chauvinistic time.
Truth # 6 A: Lay this on thick: the Pilgrims arriving in the New World and being greeted by the Native American Chief Samoset. The Statue of Liberty. “Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.”
Truth # 7: Social Justice Warriors are the most tolerant, respectful, diverse and multicultural people on the planet. That’s why we support migration.
Truth # 7 A: Social Justice Warriors are the most tolerant, respectful, diverse and multicultural people on the planet. That’s why we hate, denigrate, mock and demonize Christians, Christianity, and America.
Truth # 8: One must not judge all Muslims based on the actions of a few.
Truth # 8 A: Create a flood of memes hammering home this point: Americans in 1939 were anti-Semitic. They denied Jews attempting to escape from Nazi Germany any entry. Because of this one fact, all Americans through all time are bigots, and their decisions about refugees are always bigoted, and never based on any facts. Their decisions must always be superseded by the decision-making of their ethical and intellectual superiors.
Truth # 9: Pitchfork-wielding Christian rednecks, clinging to their God, guns, and Bibles, render America an Islamophobic hellhole unsafe for any Muslim. Muslims in America are regularly assaulted by Christian terrorists.
Truth # 9 A: Muslim migrants must be immediately granted residence in America because America is the only place on earth they can live and if you deny migrants entrance to America they will fall off the surface of the earth and die.
Truth # 10: America alone can provide shelter for fleeing migrants, because Americans have created an exceptionally well-ordered and generous society, a unique refuge in a world gone mad.
Truth # 10 A: Americans must be constantly hectored for their bigotry, ignorance, backwardness, xenophobia, racism, sexism, intolerance, smallness and meanness. Americans must constantly be tutored by their cultural and political superiors in other, more evolved nations.
Truth # 11: Christians are the religious group most persecuted for their faith worldwide. Christians are persecuted in North Africa, the Middle East, and Asia. Syria is 10% Christian, but refugees are merely 2.5 % Christian and it has been alleged that Obama is participating in discrimination against Syrian Christians. This is all as it should be; as the president has pointed out, “We are no longer a Christian nation.” Paying special attention to Christian refugees, as the president said, would be “shameful.”
Truth # 11 A: We must bury the fact that we are discriminating against Christian asylum-seekers. We can do this by changing the subject and smearing Christians. Example: let’s declare that any Americans who question allowing in migrants are afraid of “three-year-old orphans.” We should also create memes that desecrate images sacred to Christians, like Christmas, and insist that any questioning of refugee resettlement renders Christians hypocrites. Remember: “Pick the target, freeze it, personalize it, and polarize it.”
Truth # 12: Muslims who migrate to majority Christians nations must not exposed to crosses. They must not be required to transport alcohol, even if working as truck drivers. We must respect practices like FGM, forced marriage and wife beating.
Truth # 12 A: Western and Christian culture is trash and should be compromised and jettisoned.
Truth # 13: Bashar al-Assad, Syria’s president, is a bad guy. Syrians have nothing to do with their president. They cannot be associated with the failures of his regime.
Truth # 13 A: All Americans are responsible for, and must correct, the problems caused by George Bush.
Truth # 14: The top ten migrant-producing nations are Syria, Afghanistan, Iraq, Eritrea, Pakistan, Nigeria, Somalia, Sudan, Gambia, and Mali. Other lists, calculated differently, include Kosovo and Albania in the top ten. All these nations are either majority or largely Muslim. Further, Barack Obama has been president for the past seven years. We can bury the inconvenient nations on this list, and the consequences of Obama’s handling of the Arab Spring, by inducing American feelings of guilt. Just keep repeating that the current mass migration is entirely caused by US President George Bush’s invasion of Iraq.
Truth # 14 A: One must not notice what a demographer freshly arrived from Mars, and unaware of Earthlings’ speech taboos, would immediately notice. One must not notice that the Muslim world is melting down in a frenzied mass exodus. Millions are running away from their Muslim homelands, toward decidedly non-Muslim nations. One must not notice that there is no reciprocal migration – no throngs of Manhattanites or Parisians or Budapesters battering down Saudi Arabia’s or Malaysia’s or Chad’s border defenses. One must not notice that migrants like the Afghans and Pakistanis are hopping, skipping, and jumping – and risking their lives to do so – bypassing numerous Muslim countries in order to get to non-Muslim countries. One must not ask why so many migrants are coming from countries never invaded by the US, countries thousands of miles apart, countries in Africa, the Near East, and Asia, featuring widely diverse histories, climates, and topographies. One must not ask why countries, not just that have never been invaded by the US, but that have been recipients of US aid, are among the top migrant-producing nations. These countries include Pakistan, which has been, for the past sixty-five years, the recipient of tens of billions of dollars of US aid. One must not mention that one Muslim-majority, migrant-producing country, Kosovo, came into existence because of United States military aid. One must not ask if there is not something else going on in the Muslim world that is prompting this great escape. One must not invoke a similar mass migration of peoples from an area of one ideology to an area of an utterly different ideology, that is, the previous century’s migration away from communist countries to capitalist ones. One must not cite Bernard Lewis’ 1954 essay, “Communism and Islam.” One must anathematize his observation: “The political history of Islam is one of almost unrelieved autocracy … it was authoritarian, often arbitrary, sometimes tyrannical. There are no parliaments or representative assemblies of any kind, no councils or communes, no chambers of nobility or estates, no municipalities in the history of Islam; nothing but the sovereign power, to which the subject owed complete and unwavering obedience as a religious duty imposed by the Holy Law … Both [Islam and Communism] profess a totalitarian doctrine, with complete and final answers to all questions on heaven and earth; the answers are different in every respect, alike only in their finality and completeness, and in the contrast they offer with the eternal questioning of Western man.” One must endlessly repeat that this migration is all the fault of George Bush, a fault all Americans owe it to the world to correct.
Got it, Social Justice Warriors? Remember, as always, there will be a test. Your friendships, your jobs, and your safety will be affected by your performance on the test.