The New York Times, that intrepid warrior for anything and everything that the Left is hysterical about, on Friday published a lengthy piece about a source of systemic racism that no one has ever noticed before: It seems that equestrian helmets are racist because they don’t accommodate the dreadlocks that some black horse riders wear. One black rider’s mother lamented: “Mostly everything in this sport isn’t designed for us.” Well, that’s got to change, and these Jackie Robinsons of the Coiffure, with the Times’ generous help, are leading the way to the Equestrian Helmet Justice that our society so desperately needs.
Chanel Robbins, the Times tells us solemnly, “has been riding horses most of her life, ever since her grandmother traded a cow from their family’s farm in Ontario for a pony when she was 7.” Horse riding “offered an escape from thoughts that weighed on her,” which included the fact that “she was the only Black girl in the neighborhood.” But when she grew dreadlocks, her helmet didn’t fit anymore, and that, as you must know by now, is racist.
Fighting back tears (really, the Times actually said she was), Robbins said: “I finally freaking feel like myself, and now society is asking me to change. I just want to be able to ride.” How dare Whitey do this! Is there nothing to which he will not stoop? Poor Chanel Robbins can only find relief on the back of a horse from the systemic racism that confronts her every hour in Amerikkka, but now Whitey has taken even that away!
The Times generously ascribes this not to malice, but to callous indifference: “Black equestrians have long felt virtually invisible in a sport that remains overwhelmingly white. For those with natural hair, which for many is a declaration of pride and Black identity, finding a helmet that fits properly can be nearly impossible, creating yet another barrier to full inclusion.” Big Helmet (ah, but not big enough) is just as indifferent to their plight as Whitey in general: “Some are now lobbying for change, mindful that horseback riding is among the leading causes of sports-related traumatic brain injury. The helmet companies say there isn’t a simple fix.”
Well, yeah. What are the helmet companies going to do, make the helmets three feet wide? This most first-world of all first-world problems brings Oscar Gamble to mind. Baseball fans of a certain age will remember Mr. Gamble, who played major league baseball in the 1970s while sporting an Afro of truly awe-inspiring proportions. In my neighborhood, baseball cards featuring Oscar Gamble with his baseball cap stuck on the massive thing, making his head and hair look like three planets of roughly similar size orbiting in close proximity to one another, were a coveted commodity. Many marveled at his hair, some dared to laugh, but Gamble himself took it all in stride. Never once did he demand that the people who manufactured baseball caps fashion one large enough to go around his huge hair. The white kids who played baseball in the 1970s often had long hair also, and got used to having it mashed uncomfortably under the cap. In life, sometimes one must put up with a bit of discomfort, or sacrifice one desired item in order to obtain another. But that was before everything, and I do mean everything, became racist.
And so now the Times tells us that Caitlin Gooch, “who wears her hair in locs that fall to her mid-back,” takes her riding helmet along when she gets her hair done, “to ensure it will still fit.” That’s perfectly reasonable and sensible. If someone wants some extravagant hairstyle, it might cause difficulties in other areas. Sometimes one must choose between the two. But Gooch “started teaching riding lessons” and “found herself having to tell children they couldn’t ride if there was no helmet that properly fit them.” This was, once again, perfectly reasonable, but apparently it’s a new and heinously racist offense in the Times’ dizzy and ugly world.
And so the Times contacted “several prominent equestrian helmet manufacturers,” only to be told that these insensitive and no doubt white-owned corporations “were not aware that many Black riders struggled with helmet fit. Others said they recognized that it was an issue and were working to address it, while cautioning that bringing a new helmet to market is a costly undertaking that can take years.” But Helmet Justice can’t wait: the Times “spoke with nearly a dozen Black riders, several of whom described searches for properly fitting helmets that dragged on for months or even years. Some said they had been turned away from equestrian stores by employees who said they couldn’t help them. A few said they had manipulated helmets by stuffing them or cutting the lining.” Oh, the humanity!
The Times article ends on a melancholy note; Whitey isn’t going to end this Bull-Connoring of equestrian helmets anytime soon. Chauntel Smith, co-founder of CREW Urban Youth Equestrians, says putting on a helmet “is like reopening a wound every time.” Another black rider adds: “It certainly doesn’t make me feel included.” Well, that’s going to change now, and pronto. Maybe every equestrian helmet will be made to be several sizes too large, so that just in case the rider has dreadlocks, he will experience Helmet Justice. The rest of us, especially those systemically racist white riders, will have to be content with head injuries.
Can’t they just cut their hair short? That seems to be the simplest solution. It worked for me when I swam every day, because even though I have typical European hair, it’s thick and takes a long time to dry, and wet hair is no fun on a cold winter day. If they’re so vain about having (often false) long hair that they spend every spare dollar on it, maybe they really don’t care about anything else and just want to complain. I have no more sympathy for them over that than I would if they broke a (fake) nail.
Their long hair is ALWAYS fake. For some weird reason, black people can’r grow long hair. My girlfriend is black and her braids are fake.
I love her anyway.
So Bob Marley’s dreadlocks were fake? C’mon man, tell me that ain’t so. Bob Marley would never wear fake dreadlocks, would he? Rastas all have fake dreadlocks?
Copper colored hair, which tends to have a texture similar to an Afro, often doesn’t grow long, either.
OVERWHELMINGLY WHITE? Check out how many Black jockies habe won the Kemtucky Derby.
I’ve read that swimming is another sport blacks rarely if ever excel at. The muscle and bone density that makes blacks so powerful in most sports slows them down in swimming.
I think it was Samuel Johnson that said nothing in life comes unalloyed.
None…………………..
If she really loves horse riding she would cut her hair.
Or just brush her dreadlocks, hard and flat. In the ’60s, when the BEEHIVE hsirdo was fashionable, I don’t remember any WHITE women complaining, much less demanding custom designed riding hats
Or cut a hole in the back of the cap and pull her dreaded hair through, but that’s too way too simple of a solution for those who want constant attention (i.e. Bubba Wallace, Jussie Smollet, etc.) or are professional grifters.
A riding hat is a HARD HAT, not a soft cap. It’s to prevent an injury, if you fall.
Or just brush her dreadlocks, hard and flat. In the ’60s, when the BEEHIVE hsirdo was fashionable, I don’t remember any WHITE women complaining, much less demanding custom designed riding hats
All this whinging & moaning reminds me of a joke I heard years ago, it is so appropriate now.
” Why does everybody keep on telling me to cheer up, I am only happy when I am miserable & complaining.
I’m of the opinion that demlibs are only happy when__________________________________! I guess I’ll have to get back to you!
Debility has no limits. And as the other said, when you start forcing people to do totally absurd things, you can make them do totally cruel things. No wonder there are more and more morons among the youth, totally conditioned with ideas that can only lead to the glory of mediocrity. No longer understanding simple problems, without any critical spirit, repeating like parrots the bullshit of this post-modern left. And the most lucid must be silent for fear for their careers, of being labeled by others who behave very cruelly with those who do not think like them. A beautiful sheep society that will end up accepting the gulag as something totally normal. Someone wrote to me that I needed to be locked up because I didn’t believe CO2 from human activity was warming the planet, and that all people like me needed to be locked up, and it was coming soon. Another called me a Nazi because I supported Israel, and yet another a fascist because I supported Trump. These people are capable of the worst, as we have seen during the Second World War, and with Sovietism, Communism as well. There is something terrifying about these young people. The obscurantism of the left is terrifying.
You are obviously interacting with these wretched people. Keep up the good work!
Wonderfully said.
I experienced the same during the many years I lived in NYC and was in academia, the ‘front lines’. Now in beautiful, sunny and SANE Florida, all of that is behind me.
How long will Florida stay sane, with all the New Yorkers and Californiams escapimg to it?
The younger Nazi officers were feared because they had zero compassion, and like the current British police force, the Germans got rid of older officers and replaced them with the younger more compliant vicious thugs. In Britain we haven’t gone that far, we have replaced them with affirmative action appointments who look amazingly like the first Police Academy movie which was meant to be a comedy.
The monsters those leftists sre creating eill eat them up.
We don’t have a race problem in America. We have a problem with one race. Everywhere in the world blacks settle in they destroy. 95% of blacks give the 5% of decent blacks a bad name.
NO. 5% of Blacks give the 95% of decent Blacks a bad name
HOW MANY NFL PLAYERS have dreads and they have helmets that fit them? Which then brings me to another point: The NFL and especially the NBA, lack Diversity. The NBA, I’m guessing, is 95% Black players, NO DIVERSITY, EQUITY, OR INCLUSION!
“Hey Lebron…. sorry, but we’re cutting you because we have to have Diversity. We must Hispanics like Steve Chavez, five-foot seven, two hundred pounds, can’t dribble, but can beat anyone in a game of Horse, will take your place. You support DEI right? One Black player even said to get rid of the one white player on the Olympic team, all Black Team. That isn’t diversity so next Olympics, we’re adding Hispanics, Asians, Indians, and we have to have one Yanonami too!”
Lebron: “Hey… if Chavez, whoever tried out, showed talent, and played a good game, qualified for the team, yes, he should play, but not just because he’s Hispanic! That’s not fair to those of us that are more qualified!”
BINGO! That’s how you trap them and they’re too pendejo to know what just happened!
“MLK’S DREAM turned into his Worst NIGHTMARE now that people are Hired, Appointed, and Elected only due to the Color of their Skin, their gender, and their LGBTQ+ status, and NOT the Content of their Qualifications!”
Biden: “I will choose a ***WOMAN*** of ***COLOR*** for the Supreme Court!”
Democrats: “Biden must pick a ***WOMAN*** of ***COLOR*** for his Vice-President.”
Kamala: “I’m Black? When? OH WAIT…. Yes, I’m Black! HAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHA!”
The main problem is the victim mentality.
The ignorant fools who are free to do whatever they want have been brainwashed into hating all other races, because it’s much easier to do just that and get paid for it, than accept responsibility for their own actions.
The whites who imagine other whites are spending their time enforcing a culture of “systemic racism” annoy me even more than the others. They seem just as determined as any racist black lib to wipe us “oppressors” from the face of the earth. Who can save them?
When you or your family have the disposable income that’s necessary to own and ride horses for years on end, having a “victim mentality” must take a lot of effort. Poor little rich kids.
Get a bigger f’n helmet!
Black businesses can capture the riding helmet market for black riders. Easy solution.
What makes you think they wish to do that.
Fer chrissakes, buy an effing football helmet and quit complaining.
The regulatiomd about what one can wear, and carry, at a horse show are strict. Some events require a sandwich box on the saddle. The judge will open the sandwich box to make sure there’s a sandwich in there.
Uh, maybe cornrows?
This was HILARIOUS!
Mr. Spencer, I couldn’t stop laughing, thank you for the brilliant humor.
So according to the New York Slimes Rodeos and the Kentucky Derby are Racists and then this leftists rag wonders why the American People don’t trust the M.S. Media anymore. Hey New York Slimes I have been watching Rodeos on the TV at a local restaurant
make lots of holes in your helmet for your dreds to go thru – problem solved – high ho silver!
It won’t protect her from head injuries, then
Maybe the NY Times writer should read this article by a black woman rider explaing how to make it work?
https://www.bustle.com/articles/173930-7-tips-for-wearing-a-helmet-with-afro-textured-hair-photos
And, the reporter could have looked that up just as easily as you did. But she didn’t. She’s just pretending to be a reporter.
next they will be complaining that the horses aren’t big enough to carry their morbidly obese carcases around the ring . ” django unchained ”, [ what’s that nigger doin on that horse !! ]
Here is the pure fact about the equine field: It’s all about hard work and the bond formed between the rider and the horse. Our daughter won the Rolex championship in Dressage at the Kentucky Horse Park. The competition was stiff. There were competitors from all over the world. Many with million dollar horses, extremely expensive tack and custom made clothing and boots. It was a combined effort between her and her mount. It took a lot of combined hours of practice, practice and more practice. The Ghetto Tribe better get one thing in their heads, that is: Their skin color doesn’t give them extra points when it comes to winning. Unlike the EZ Pass they get into elite colleges. Equine sports are an equalizer. You either put the time in by practicing and bonding with your horse or you won’t win. There are no guarantees when it comes to equine competition. There always are competitors who have practiced more. Judging in the equine world can be subjective. I’m sure that the Ghetto Tribe will try and play the race card. They need a reality check. Try another sport to ruin and leave the equine sports alone.
The NYT’s is like the idiot who finds water on the bottom of their rowboat so they drill a a hole to let the water run out
A riding hat is a HARD HAT, not a soft cap. It’s to prevent an injury, if you fall.