Sorry nerds, you may have done his dirty work, but you’re not cool enough for Barry.

When Obama announced that he was going to celebrate the royal occasion of his sixtieth birthday party, celebs and officials from around the country made plans to converge on Martha’s Vineyard before the rising waters of the global warming apocalypse swallowed up Casa D’Obama. 

But in a typical example of why rich and powerful dictators can’t have nice things, stories began to run about the dubious appropriateness of a massive party with upward of 500 guests and staff during a renewed pandemic that was triggering shutdowns around the country.

And even Barry began to see that a story about his party turning into a superspreader event that would take out half of Hollywood and Obamaworld might not be worth the ring-kissing and ego boost. 

The only question was whether Obama would uninvite the celebrities he barely knows or his loyal former administration officials?

Anyone who knows how the prince of hope and change values loyalty can’t be too surprised that Tom Hanks is in and the nerds are out.

Jay-Z and Beyoncé were still in, as of Friday. David Axelrod and Larry David were out.

The only thing funnier than David Axelrod, the man whose dirty tricks got Obama where he is, being dumped while Jay-Z is in, no wait, there’s nothing about this funnier than that.

Except maybe Oprah and Tom Hanks turning Obama down.

But this week, some invitees were treated to a cold dose of reality when they were abruptly cut from the guest list — while some of the boldest names were not… So were the majority of former Obama administration officials who had been looking forward to the reunion after an isolated year, and who generally credit themselves with helping create the Obama legacy that has allowed the former president to settle in so comfortably with the A-list crowd.

Sorry nerds, you enabled this monster. But when it comes to his guest list, you’re no match for celebrities.

On Tuesday night, Melissa Winter, chief of staff to Michelle Obama, was one of at least eight staffers involved in the party logistics who had the unlucky job of placing phone calls asking former colleagues not to come. Hannah Hankins, a spokeswoman for Mr. Obama, also spent the evening placing those calls.

The calls set off frantic group text chains, with former officials trying to parse the meaning of “significantly scaled back” and figure out who had made the “close friend” cut.

Tom Hanks, one of the earliest celebrities to reveal he had the coronavirus last year and a longtime Obama ally, was also still invited, although it was not clear he would attend and had recently been spotted in Greece.

And yet he’s still ahead of David Axelrod and the rest of Obama’s political enablers. The only real question is whether Jeremiah Wright and Louis Farrakhan are coming.