Jeff Bezos cheated on his wife. The cheating led to what is probably the most expensive divorce in human history. His lackeys, including the ones he owns at the Washington Post, have repeatedly diverted attention from this trainwreck by blaming Trump and the Saudis for hacking his pants. There is zero evidence that anybody hacked his pants. There is evidence that the pictures came by way of his mistress. But spinning bizarre stories about the Saudis going after him for employing Qatari terror lobbyist Jamal Khashoggi, an old friend of Osama bin Laden, is meant to make Bezos look like a human rights hero, instead of a pathetic aging creep.

And this is the most bizarre one yet.

The Amazon billionaire Jeff Bezos had his mobile phone “hacked” in 2018 after receiving a WhatsApp message that had apparently been sent from the personal account of the crown prince of Saudi Arabia, sources have told the Guardian.

The encrypted message from the number used by Mohammed bin Salman is believed to have included a malicious file that infiltrated the phone of the world’s richest man, according to the results of a digital forensic analysis.

Wait, so the Saudi crown personally hacked Bezos’ phone? Personally? If Jeffy sure this wasn’t a Nigerian prince instead?

If we’re to buy this stupid story then the Saudi crown prince was stupid enough to send a file to Bezos and the latter was stupid enough to open it. And, despite being the richest man in the world, he had no more security on his phone than Jeff Nybrook from Scarsdale.

Come on.

Where is this story coming from? Anonymous sources. The article is full of quotes from anonymous sources.

The Guardian then describes these anonymous claims as an “extraordinary revelation” and a “disclosure”.

The technical term is stuff somebody said without any proof.

But this is what journalism looks like now. 

The Guardian understands a forensic analysis of Bezos’s phone, and the indications that the “hack” began within an infected file from the crown prince’s account, has been reviewed by Agnès Callamard, the UN special rapporteur who investigates extrajudicial killings. It is understood that it is considered credible enough for investigators to be considering a formal approach to Saudi Arabia to ask for an explanation.

Callamard, whose own investigation into the murder of Khashoggi found “credible evidence” the crown prince and other senior Saudi officials were responsible for the killing, confirmed to the Guardian she was still pursuing “several leads” into the murder, but declined to comment on the alleged Bezos link.

The UN special rapporteur is investigating who stole Bezos’ nude photos? This is what happens when you’re the richest man in the world. You can recruit the UN to cover for your affair.