Saving the planet is really trendy now. 

All you need to do to stop the next apocalypse is reuse your bags and vote for higher taxes. That will change the weather. Or your trillion dollars and plastic bags and plastic straws and working detergent and air conditioners and asthma inhalers and burgers back.

A UK college has courageously virtue signaled that it will fight the Giant Flying Global Warming Monster by banning burgers.

University of London, Goldsmiths blocked the sale of any beef product, increased taxes for water bottles and disposable cups, and installed solar panels across campus as part of an initiative to decrease carbon emissions and fight global warming, according to BBC News.

Does anyone even eat meat at Goldsmiths? I thought it was all soy.

“The growing global call for organizations to take seriously their responsibilities for halting climate change is impossible to ignore,” Frances Corner, the university’s new head, told BBC News. “Declaring a climate emergency cannot be empty words. I truly believe we face a defining moment in global history and Goldsmiths now stands shoulder to shoulder with other organizations willing to call the alarm and take urgent action to cut carbon use.”

“Our house is on fire,” Joe Leam, Goldsmiths Students’ Union president, said. “I believe Frances Corner and the university management are realizing this and making these changes to put their part of the house fire out.”

Sure we could focus on academics, but that’s hopeless anyway. Our house is on fire and so we’re going to charge more for disposable cups.

Please give us a Nobel Prize.

Meanwhile the Goldsmiths site mentions that it has Halal options. (Not Kosher, of course.) No beef for the infidels, but Halal for the faithful.

Truly, Flying Global Warming Monster Akbar.

Anyway the menu shows, “Lebanese Pork Leg Served with Salad in Pitta Bread”, “Chicken Kaathi in a Tortilla with Sauteed Vegetabkes & Chutney”, “Lebanese Lamb Shawarma”, 

I can’t wait for the Halal Lebanese pork leg to save the planet.