Jonathan Safran Foer is a literary darling who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and no apparent talent for anything other than hollow posturing as literature. Since his literary career wasn’t annoying enough on its own, he decided to expand into becoming truly obnoxious by becoming the one thing that everyone on earth hates, a celebrity vegan.

And here for your hatejoymet, is Foer in the New York Times, screeching, “if you care about the working poor, about racial justice, and about climate change, you have to stop eating animals.” 

What will black people and the working poor eat instead? Celebrity vegans? Nah, they’re sour and tasteless.

I’ll spare you the rambling screed except that Foer nonsensically and hysterically claims that most black people want to be vegetarians, that the “working poor” are oppressed by the existence of meat, and that meat is destroying the planet.

Perhaps if Foer ever made it out of his five-story Brooklyn townhouse (what’s heating and cooling that thing doing to the environment), he would note that vegan and vegetarian places are located in places where noxious hipsters like him hang out while poor and working class neighborhoods are full of places that serve meat and chicken. You know, real food.

What Foer really thinks, but doesn’t dare say is that black people and the poor need to be deprived of meat for their own good. And because they matter less than Foer’s nature fakery fantasies.