If 2020 was a dumpster fire, 2021 was a slightly less toxic dumpster fire. After a year of race riots and lockdowns, 2021 gave us a military occupation of Washington D.C. and a humiliating retreat from Afghanistan.
What can we expect from 2022? No one knows. But here are some things that absolutely probably might happen… unless they don’t.
1. After years of trying to deny Biden’s mental incapacity, Democrats will finally admit that he’s suffering from dementia and hold him up as a role model, comparing him to FDR and touting him as the second disabled president of the United States.
An Oscar-winning movie directed by Oliver Stone will dramatize, in which Leonardo DiCaprio in heavy makeup will play Biden, will dramatize his challenges of reading a teleprompter or remembering which country he’s in.
2. After two years of relentless pandemic restrictions, in response to polls, Democrats and the media will completely rewrite history and blame all the pandemic restrictions on the Trump administration. They will insist that the Democrats were always against lockdowns and shutdowns, much as the teachers’ unions claim that they always wanted to reopen schools, and that Republicans were for them.
The first books and movies rewriting the whole history of the pandemic will be out by the fall of 2022.
3. Unable to find a replacement for Joe Biden, the party will turn to recently deceased former Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid.
“If the dead can vote, why can’t they run for office?” Democrats will argue.
4. Breakthrough negotiations in convincing Putin not to invade the Ukraine will experience a breakthrough when Harry Reid instead allows him to invade Alaska.
5. Democrats will finally prove that there’s no critical race theory in schools when they change the name of “critical race theory” to “all white people are evil studies”. But the booming field in kindergarten and K-12 All White People are Evil studies will run into problems when it turns out that a disproportionate number of instructors in the field are white people.
6. Democrat officials will finally drop their obsession with forcing everyone to wear masks. The emergence of the Zeta strain right around the time of the midterms as gas prices hit $20 bucks however will lead them to demand that everyone cover their eyes with blindfolds.