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Ahead of a meeting between Prime Minister James Marape of Papua New Guinea and Chinese Communist Foreign Minister Wang Yi, Joe decided to accuse Papau of eating his uncle.
After a visit to Scranton Veterans Memorial Park, Joe Biden claimed that his uncle Ambrose J. Finnegan “flew single-engine planes, reconnaissance flights over New Guinea. He had volunteered because someone couldn’t make it. He got shot down in an area where there were a lot of cannibals in New Guinea at the time.”
Amazingly, even for a Joe Biden tall tale, almost no part of that story is true. Ambrose, a 2nd lieutenant, was a passenger on an administrative flight when the plane’s engines failed and it went down in the water. He wasn’t a heroic volunteer, he was a passenger, and he wasn’t shot down, but died in an accident, and he wasn’t eaten by anybody except maybe a shark.
While Biden has made up a lot of family tragedies and war stories, this is the first one to offend an entire nation and alienate it just in time for the People’s Republic of China to swoop in.
“President Biden’s remarks may have been a slip of the tongue; however, my country does not deserve to be labeled as such,” Prime Minister James Marape objected.
There was cannibalism, Michael Kabuni, a lecturer in political science at the University of Papua New Guinea, admitted, but “taking it out of context, and implying that your [uncle] jumps out of the plane and somehow we think it’s a good meal is unacceptable.”
“They wouldn’t just eat any white men that fell from the sky.”
First, Biden claims that Papauns ate his uncle and a Papaun political science professor responds by implying that Joe’s uncle wasn’t worth eating. Cannibalism in the area was a rare ritual because a diet heavy in Biden family members would be hard to come by and unhealthy.
Eating people is one of the least healthy diets around which is why even few animals outside of the government prey on us full time. Cannibal tribes would eat great leaders or the mentally ill (or both) which might qualify Joe Biden to be eaten by cannibals, but not his uncle ‘Bosey’.
But what’s really eating Joe is a stolen valor problem. And a Kennedy problem.
Joe Biden repeatedly and falsely claims that his son Beau Biden died in Iraq when he actually died of cancer in America. The ‘Uncle Bosey’ story is part of a pattern of fake war stories.
“The superhighway of terror between Pakistan and Afghanistan where my helicopter was forced down. John McCain wants to know where bin Laden and the gates of Hell are? I can tell him where. That’s where Al Qaida is. That’s where bin Laden is,” Biden claimed in the 2008 campaign.
The chopper carrying Sen. Biden, Sen. John Kerry and Sen. Chuck Hagel landed in safe territory during a snowstorm. It remained there under heavy military protection before the Arizona National Guard’s 1st Battalion who traveled through the “bitter winds, freezing rain and snow for more than 15 hours” to escort him to Bagram Air Base. Which he would later abandon.
During the 2020 election bid, Biden once again falsely claimed that he risked his life traveling to Afghanistan. “I’ve been in and out of Iraq and Afghanistan 30 times. I’ve pinned medals, Silver Stars, on soldiers up in the Upper Konar Valley, in the middle of a firestorm.”
“They’re behind, it’s called a FOB, a forward operating base, behind these great big barriers on top of a mountain in a little cove in a godforsaken country,” Biden claimed. “A four-star general asked me, would I go up into the FOB. Everybody got concerned. A vice president going up in the middle of this. But we can lose a vice president. We can’t lose many more of these kids. Not a joke.”
Biden’s story of heroically traveling to pin a medal into a firestorm to pit a medal on a soldier was also false.
The actual story comes from the same trip at the helicopter “forced down” in the “superhighway of terror“ when Biden, along with Kerry and Hagel, visited a base and watched a medal ceremony for an actual hero. No general asked Biden to risk his life to pin a medal on a wounded soldier. Nor did Biden pin the medal on him. The base, known as Naray or Bostick, did not come under fire when Biden was there. Nor was traveling there in 2008 a serious risk.
In February 2008, when Biden visited Afghanistan, only one American soldier had been killed that entire month.
Biden visited Afghanistan at a time when he knew it was safe and used the trip to invent war stories for the election.
And then there was “Uncle Frank”.
According to Joe Biden at yet another event, this one at the Major Joseph R. “Beau” Biden III National Guard/Reserve Center, celebrating the military service of his son as a JAG in Iraq for 7 months, claimed that his father told him that “Uncle Frank fought in the Battle of the Bulge” and “won the Purple Heart”, but “never received it”. So Joe Biden came over with his dad to bring Uncle Frank a Purple Heart. Not only did the story never happen, because Frank was dead by then, but there had never been any record of a Purple Heart awarded to a Frank Biden.
Nor was there a Purple Heart awarded Ambrose Finnegan because he wasn’t shot down or captured, he was not on a combat flight, but traveling on an administrative flight.
When Joe Biden falsely claimed that he awarded a Purple Heart to his Uncle Frank, it reflected a real grudge that the military hadn’t provided him with some war heroes in the family.
Joe Biden makes up all sorts of stories, but there is a pattern to a lot of those stories.
Like a lot of Democrats with presidential aspirations, he wanted to be JFK. To do that, he built up claims of being Irish (the late Uncle Bosey was not only used to prop up the Bidens as war heroes but as Irish), of being a talented lawyer, a football player and a man who from an early age had met with world leaders. That’s not Joe Biden’s biography, but it is JFK’s biography.
Like the Kennedy family, Biden framed his family as a tragic clan. Beau became his Joe Patrick Jr, the promising golden child who could have changed the world had he not died in a war, whose death inspired him to run for office. Meanwhile, Joe Biden supplemented the narrative with other family war stories that never happened.to live out his fantasy of being JFK. How infuriating it must be for a man who believes he is JFK to be challenged by an actual Kennedy.
What’s eating Joe aren’t the cannibals of New Guinea, but that he isn’t a Kennedy.
“The Kennedys were, as a group, the people he patterned his life after,” Ted Kaufman, Biden’s former chief of staff, said. “Not just his political life, but his life.”
In Biden’s stories, he’s not an old man with a failing mind, he is JFK, flying into danger, inspired to change the country by the death of a loved one, burdened by tragedy, but rising to the occasion to inspire a nation. In New Guinea, they might not eat just any white men that fell from the sky. They might not eat a Biden, but even cannibals would have the taste to eat a Kennedy.
Joe Biden isn’t living his life, he’s cannibalizing the already eaten up Kennedy family legacy.
Kasandra says
Joe is simply a pathological liar. Nobody should believe anything he says. How he can deal with foreign leaders when the must know that whatever he commits to may just be another in his litany of lies? That having been said, I’m told on good authority that Uncle Brosie tasted like chicken.
David Ray says
I remember an amusing bumper sticker . . .
“I like cats!” [Bold print on top line]
“They taste just like chicken.” [Smaller print, bottom line]
cleve says
Did they serve Uncle Bosey with mashed potatos and gravy or was it just dipping sauce.
RS says
Everybody has been remarking about the story telling and nonsense, and how reality has fllown the coupe.
Rob A says
What’s eating Joe is type-3 diabetes which is in the process of rendering his brain an inert mass sloshing around inside his cavernous cranial cavity!
I suspect that at some point old Joe will have to be careful of blowing his nose lest he blows brain matter out through his nasal passage!!
Algorithmic Analyst says
Good analysis. AI might be able to determine what is in his memory by processing all his statements.
Jeff Bargholz says
Boorish Biden couldn’t inspire an American to take a morning dump, much less change the country for the better. Plenty of us like to imagine we’re dropping our morning deuce in his face but that’s not veneration by defecation, it’s an act of hatred because he’s spent his entire half century in politics making America a worse place.
The iconic photo of a Papuan tribesman escorting a downed and blinded Australian pilot he’d rescued through jungle is emblematic of the Papuans, not Biden bullshit about cannibals eating downed pilots.
I wonder if Geriatric Joe and Ketchup Kerry dress up like JFK when they get together and trade war story lies like they banged Marilyn Monroe too?
Algorithmic Analyst says
I met a woodcarver from New Guinea who had an exhibition at Stanford once. Nicest, sweetest guy imaginable. I wouldn’t like to be his enemy out in the jungle though 🙂
Jeff Bargholz says
Yes, the Western half of the island is part of Indonesia, although it shouldn’t be, so you run into them in the Indonesian islands sometimes. I thought they seemed nice and I know a chick who went to high school with a guy from there. She and a bunch of friends from her high school days still get together regularly and I saw some photos. She says he’s really nice.
World@70 says
“a diet heavy in Biden family members”- This might inspire those people to have made backdoor deals with their enemy’s for piles of filthy luker and an uncommon urge to sniff women’s hair.
sumsrent says
The problem with Pedo Joe Biden…
Is that he is a satanic catholic… who worships the fake god allah… the satanic fake god once known as Baal…
catholicism is satanic… they teach they worship the same fake god allah of satanic islam…
Therefore… catholics don’t have a heart after the One True Living God of Abraham, Isaac & Jacob…
Meanwhile… our Luciferian Globalist loving government of America, who was behind 911 and Covid… are aiding, helping and funding satanic islam’s quest for world domination… using satanic islam as satan’s last push. Spreading satanic worshiping muslims across this world through immigration…
Spreading muslims everywhere… setting up the Great Tribulation… where muslims will rise up all over the world to kill all Christians and Jews, when mushammad’s Green Flag is risen over his tomb…
RobL says
The consummate liar and plagiarizer entwined with a most assuredly low IQ in a feeble minded dementia patient.
And this is the so-called American president, who had, as he himself said “the most extensive and inclusive voter fraud organization in the history of American politics,” and garnered a phantom 81 million votes from his basement, and is the purported ‘leader of the free world’.
What a miserable joke.
Algorithmic Analyst says
Oh, thanks, that reminded me: there have been numerous historical cases of feeble-minded rulers and such. It generally ended badly.
Jeff Bargholz says
These last three years have been the worst I’ve lived through, that’s for sure. The Carter years were terrible and the Obama years were worse but these are the worst.
Victor Hafichuk says
Biden IS Obama. Nobody cares to say it. The world will know. “There’s nothing hidden that won’t be made manifest” by the One Obama hates and mocks with all his being.
SPURWING PLOVER says
New Guinee at least their more civilized then the creatures ruining our Nations Capital
Jeff Bargholz says
What’s eating Joe? Alzheimer’s. It’s eating his tiny brain. Too bad it isn’t Kuru. It works faster.
Richard Trank says
“Prions prefer Peons.”
It’s Kuru,, seriously, from eating his family members past, and present.
It’s characterized by changes in temperament, particularly to bouts of laughter.. With Biden it has mutated into a viris ( apparently prions prefer peons . and is able to now be transmitted, airborne.. Think, “Kamala””.
Alix Brit says
I’m glad you mentioned BAGRAM BASE – yes, we can thank Uncle Joe for just giving it up so that our brave marines could be blown to bits in Kabul. Speaking of Stolen Valor, anyone remember HILLARY CLINTON ducking from sniper fire in Yugoslavia? No, neither do I! Or Senator Blumenthal of CONNECTICUT being abused after “returning from Vietnam”? The closest he got to Vietnam was a Vietnamese restaurant in Greenwich.
David Ray says
I believe the bitch said it was Bosnia (formerly part of Yugoslavia) that she & Chelsea had to dodge sniper fire. After that bullshit was exposed, she tried to make light of it on Jay Leno with a stale joke, but since she’s such a seething, venomous bitch, it fell flat.
She’s more adept at lying & operating a sham bribe-mill than Sleepy because she isn’t as stupid, but sometimes, she just can’t resist swerving into telling painful bullshit as you correctly described.
Thomas E. Warwick says
Blumenthal???? Vietnamese restaurant or cathouse?
Jeff Bargholz says
Probably a Vietnamese bath house.
Brock O Lee says
It’s really very simple. Our “selected” President is a very sick man in many ways. His lies, his narcissism, his mumbling, his stumbling, confusion, brain freezes, his shameless predatory behavior around pre-pubescent children, etc. The list goes on and on. I’m not sure America can take nine more months of this amoral clown.
jcr says
pResident Roomba.
We have one. His name is “Mr. French.”
RS says
Most people know he was installed not elected. Nobody would vote for the policies that are destroying and bankrupting the nation.
David Ray says
When Trump surprised history by getting 11 million MORE votes than in 2016 (historically, an incumbent loses votes in the 2nd election), Pennsylvania stopped the counting & Georgia lied about a flood & ejected only the Republican poll workers.
They had to regroup & cheat even more.
2000 Mules shows clearly the drop-boxes were stuffed like Thanksgiving turkeys, but that apparently wasn’t enough.
Sleazy Joe couldn’t draw flies to shit, as empty rooms chronically attested to, but we’re supposed to buy this bullshit of 81 million votes. (Amazing what one can do with a printer. Hence, several mail-in ballots were unfolded.)
George says
Biden’s not a Kennedy and Obama is only half white.
Gary fouse says
Old Joe has been smoking his socks again.
AZCOWBOY says
Not an “Uncle Bosie” but a fucking Bozo Joe Clown Bastard.
May he drop dead soon and take Harris with him. That’ll be a cause for America to celebrate. THAT AND A COLUMBIAN DRUG LORD’S SONNY BOY having an “accident” in the Hudson River – JUAN NOT JOHN MERCHAN.
Jerome says
Biden is a craven nitwit and a fraud. Great write-up Daniel.
john blackman says
that anybody voted for the lying feckless empty suit that is biden is an indictment on americans and the failed electoral system that put him there . unfortunately they will do it again because they pulled it off in one try and everyone looked the other way including the courts . with all of the dons faults nothing compares with the imbecile puppet that currently sits in the aged care facility in washington supported by both parties . 4 more years is what america deserves and will get because they are too busy navel gazing to know where the country is headed . the soldier at arlington needs to beef up on the last post because that is what will be played after the next installment of numbskull joe if the MSM and the dept. of informazia can get him over the line . at this point its a given .
Jan VI says
Has Joey jumped the shark? His story was in poor taste!
The article would have benefited from proofreading. Already I’ve seen three errors.
SPURWING PLOVER says
First its Maui and now its New Guinea that’s two Pacific Island Biden the Blunder has messed up with his Incompetence its not Trump anymore Liberal Media Bottom Feeders
Riisgaard, DK says
C’mon, Joke Biden rules ok
Rick554 says
Biden loves to play the the role of a great military member……..too bad he used five draft deferments during Viet Nam. And personally, I’m glad he was nowhere near Viet Nam! Kerry was bad enough